Actually, nobody likes you when you're depressed. Plain and simple. We can talk all day about mental health and how important it is, but the moment you are depressed, people start to distance themselves. They see you as negative, a burden, and someone too heavy to handle.
An angel will find you, or else a book, or a friend, or perhaps a vision, or a dream โ or the strange touch of a tree or sudden memories of a beloved elder sharing a wisdom; perhaps a travel leading you to a starry sky in awe and remember ancient things ... you will be found.
Please just apologize to your partner when you know you messed up bruh... All that manipulative behavior and getting mad at them for being upset when they have a valid reason is just weird. People love to say they're grown until it's time to take accountability.