Chief Woke Officer

I have seen the top of the mountain. And it is good.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@Ugarles “You must generally treat like things alike, therefore you must treat pedophile protectors like Israel” isn’t the burn this author thinks it is…

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

if enough of us max out our credit cards and kill ourselves, we can topple the banking system

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@DaleJohnsonBBC It doesn't seem that the ball would have hit White's hand but for the deflection off his shin. So, I don't see how the change in trajectory was anything but "significant"--it was the difference between the ball flying wide and hitting White's hand.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

Chuck Norris died the same way as David Carradine

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@RichardStaff @StevenACohen2 *showing up at Kyle Tucker's house with $435, a 2013 Kia Sorrento, and the keys to a Finger Lakes timeshare* Buddy, what's mine is yours now. Fog is coming. Meteor's coming. Wouldn't you like to go to heaven in a deep gray City Connect jersey?

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@RichardStaff @StevenACohen2 If an unstoppable meteor were on a collision course with the earth next year, how much would you be willing to pay Kyle Tucker today? How many years would you give him? Nothing matters, Steve, but it would be pretty cool to have Kyle Tucker for the last year of earth.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@MostCrucified Can’t spell Stephen without Pete

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

You KNOW David Blaine just stole a damn train

[Emma Beals @ejbeals]

Full black out in Grand Central Station.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@yesitsmyaccount It’s cool that she gave the dollar back to you

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@WeedMubarak I’ve been thinking about how to solve world hunger and I think it has something to do with farmers and truckers 69ing forever, in a perpetual nutrient cycle. Food for thought in your studies. Not gay. Learn.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@RichardStaff Me walking through the parking lot after a 10-5 loss at Dodger Stadium

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@edzitron @allahliker david careers

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@wyatt_privilege @ZeroSuitCamus So you just breach your duty of candor? You lie to the court? Please tell me you use brackets.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@DaleJohnsonESPN Veltman was not "in the process of restarting." He only attempted the kick in bad faith--it clearly would have smacked his teammate 3 yards away, even if the ball stopped and Rice got out of the way. Rice didn't help things by falling for it, but most refs know better.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@wyatt_privilege @ScottHickle @ThroneScience @OrinKerr does law enforcement need a warrant to get my poop stats from this company or did I give up a reasonable expectation of privacy in my poop stats?

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@allahliker tim walz just went up in my book for NOT having won a dumb award from the chamber of commerce. thank you, journalism, for exposing the truth that this guy is cooler than i thought.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@allahliker I dunno, Jeff. He’s fucked a lot of women behind his wives’ backs. Maybe they’re in play.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@allahliker I think whoever the oldest guy is in America at any time should be President. Why? Old = wise. Seen a bunch of stuff.

[Chief Woke Officer @Kurt_Loader]

@allahliker @OsitaNwanevu I would vote for a Harris-Computers ticket