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Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
Comedian, 90s baby, Memphian
Joined August 2016
111
Following
17
Followers
23
Posts
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 7 years ago
If your woman doesn't squeeze things when she grocery shops....do better.
#squeezethejuice
#guyswithtattoos
#fundamentals
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 7 years ago
Democrats just can't let this one go. But I guess if Republicans can mock a dumb new green deal dems can have this one.
#titfortat
Commercial Appeal
@memphisnews
about 7 years ago
Rep. Steve Cohen brought a rubber chicken for William Barr's empty seat at House committee hearing https://t.co/BLEG6tUYZZ
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 9 years ago
I'm just going to leave this here for everyone.
#flashback
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 9 years ago
@rickygervais
Oh no I think there's still some laughter in there somewhere. Gotta work hard to find it. Like the DUP does ignoring things.
Who to follow
Spider
@SpiderPHero
just a gamer gaming on Uncharted CSGO xd
💢
@lasdas9871
snap: leo_das23 ajt les mecs chaud
TheBeast
@JBColin2
public figure/ trader /personal trainer
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 9 years ago
@newscientist
yes but if age is time and time is money then the old is the wealthy and ive totally lost myself....keep your science. https://t.co/pREhyZHjhB
New Scientist
@newscientist
about 9 years ago
A cure for ageing is near but you probably can’t afford it https://t.co/eAKP4ncWjx
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 9 years ago
It's crazy when I only have one day off this week and everyone in my house knows that...but doesn't give a shit.
#itsabeautifulday
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 9 years ago
North Korea was shooting air to ship missles off the coast. Turns out it was just Kim Jong throwing fire crackers at a row boat.
#RealNews
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 9 years ago
I don't remember everything but I do remember street sharks son.
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
about 9 years ago
Who gets a doggie bag for breakfast? You gonna eat that later on this morning?
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
over 9 years ago
If there's one thing
#instagram
has taught me it's that nude women love furniture.
#bootycushion
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
over 9 years ago
I am hosting this little party tonight. Come out and see some funny.
#comedy
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
over 9 years ago
Deer. Winners of the mannequin challenge since cars were made.
#Mannequuinchallenge
#headlights
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
over 9 years ago
At the Mugshots Love and Laughs open mic. Then off to headline at Clicks. Y'all ready for me yet?
#comedy
#paperflow
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 10 years ago
Love your toilet. It's been taking your shit all your life.
#priorities
#flushingiscaring
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 10 years ago
I can't be the only one who's been in the car with the girlfriend, passed by a field and thought "that'd be a good place to hide the body."
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 10 years ago
I rate restaurants on the structural integrity of their straws.
#dontbecheap
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 10 years ago
Waking up naked and afraid is never a good sign....I'm never drinking again
#pantydropper
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 10 years ago
Amazing night at the
#40plush
show. Mad love from my city. This is why we do it. Come out and see us again Memphis.
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 10 years ago
Hearing your mom say "I was gonna mace that bitch" Jesus mom. Grandma just asked for the potatoes.
#family
Kyle Shelton
@KyleShelt0n
almost 10 years ago
Why can't there be places that deliver breakfast?
@sonicdrivein
@McDonalds
you need to get with the program.
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