Laura

genius? no. role model? also no.

[Laura @LAM1086]

I found a piece of croissant in my bellybutton and that is depressing.

I did not EAT that piece of croissant and that is growth.

[Laura @LAM1086]

Jake shut him the fuck up. Why ask questions at all?!

[Laura @LAM1086]

If you’re not gonna mute him when he’s obviously not answering your question why the fuck are you there, @jaketapper @DanaBashCNN

[Laura @LAM1086]

how's everyone doing with the fact that we just have...checks notes...regular season baseball to keep us occupied until football season?

[Laura @LAM1086]

Girls who wear mascara on your bottom lashes, do you not cry daily from the horrors?

[Laura @LAM1086]

are you in #newyorkcity? help us find the owner (or a new one) for this abandoned angel. #lostdog

https://t.co/x5QKorjgaC

[Laura @LAM1086]

i'm inconsolable. the transition from 'i hope i never lose you' to 'and i lost you' is just too much rn.

[The Eras Tour @tswifterastour]

🚨| Taylor Swift performing a mashup of "Cornelia Street" and "Maroon" at today's show, the 100th show of 'The Eras Tour'! #LiverpoolTSTheErasTour

https://t.co/pN0aDxYefd

[Laura @LAM1086]

I have a college degree and graduated at the top of my class but I will always try to put a P in the word “hamster”

[Laura @LAM1086]

Holy shit it took me so long and at the same time not long at all to pick him out

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

James Gandolfini in 1979.

[Laura @LAM1086]

i'm the kind of elder millennial who absolutely is aware (and has an opinion on) the Scarlett Johansson vs OpenAI case but had no clue that chatGPT could talk to begin with.

[Laura @LAM1086]

the bar. she's on the floor.

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

Rudy Giuliani: We lived through four years of Trump and nothing terrible happened

[Laura @LAM1086]

@nytimes tell me you didn't learn anything from the 1989 era without telling me you didnt learn anything from the 1989 era. the girl can't win, god damn.

[Laura @LAM1086]

okay THIS is a consequence of global warming i cannot abide. let's get this show on the road.

[Gothamist @Gothamist]

Early Addition: Global warming is causing time to slow down

https://t.co/wW9DvoLtXP

[Laura @LAM1086]

Not Joe hitting him with the “good job, big guy” 😂

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Congratulations, Donald. Quite the accomplishment.

[Laura @LAM1086]

Go cheat on your pregnant wife again Tiki. Keep @saquon’s name out of your mouth. You don’t get to talk about integrity. At all.

[Laura @LAM1086]

love a taylor reference

[Variety @Variety]

"I love you bigger than the whole sky, my girl." Emma Stone thanks her daughter after winning the #Oscar for Best Lead Actress. https://t.co/UNgGySGz3r

[Laura @LAM1086]

@nbcsnl people saying he bombed are just seeing what they want to see. this was endearing, self-aware and funny. i was supportive of the firing in 2019 but people have to be able to bounce back. otherwise, there's no incentive to grow.

[Laura @LAM1086]

@taylorswift13 okay but is anyone else a little bothered by these 'special' editions? how many versions of the same album is she going to ask us to buy? i want to hear all the songs. ive been a fan for 17 years, i shouldnt have to cobble together the most expensive complete album of all time

[Laura @LAM1086]

because they...are?

[Laura @LAM1086]

Okay I know it’s not but “fabulist” sounds like a word for “gay” that republicans made up.

[Annie Karni @anniekarni]

Some Rs were ruing the decision to expel Santos, a reliable vote despite being a fabulist + the subject of a 23-count federal indictment.

Donalds told CNN that Santos had yet to be found guilty, “to pre-empt that, to score political points, was stupid."

https://t.co/KXMx2QfqFi

[Laura @LAM1086]

@MonmouthPoll @taylorswift13 @POTUS That’s a lot of stats and categories when you could just say every single one of them is stupid and unwell.