LL Cool Tweet

Stunningly beautiful, talented, and brilliant mother of one with elite opinions, humbling analytics, and Trump Derangement Syndrome.

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

A group of men is called a joke.

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

Me: ok it’s 10:30, time bed
My brain: baaaaaaaaybe girrrrllll what’s your name?
Me: stop
Brain: let me talk to ya. Let me buy you a draaaankkk

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

Why did my mom even let me do that? 😂

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

My friend just paid a teenage babysitter 35 an hour to watch her one neurotypical toddler who goes to bed at 7:30 pm and I can’t help but think of 10 y/o me fighting for my life sitting 3 kids under 4 plus a newborn for 7 bucks an hour. 😭

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

Some of you weren’t hit with your grandma’s slipper and it shows.

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

At the funeral last night, my friend had a board full of pictures of our class from grades k to grade 8, as well as many memories of us in our older years too. So lucky to be able to sit on the floor with all my life-long friends and cry and laugh looking at all of the pics.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Right! And we are all brainwashed to think it’s something to aspire to. I know this is old but the difference between one million and one billion is so vast I think people can’t comprehend it. One million seconds equals is 11.5 days. One billion seconds is 31.7 Years. And Elon is about to be a trillionaire. That would be 31,700 years. Now do the math in dollars. And the fact is that no one in the history of the world has ever attained that wealth by any other means then some form of domination over others. I do not begrudge financial success, but I do have a real problem when the the top 0.1% (130,000 families) hold 6 times the wealth as the bottom 66 million households combined. Put another way 905 individuals in America have twice the wealth of the entire bottom half of the country- 165,000,000 people. And it wasn’t always this way. The top 0.1 percent’s share of the U.S. wealth pie has grown 59.6 percent since just 1989.

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

@cutiemcfly007 Exactly! Like sure it’s a little weird at first, but in 2 years it just takes on a new dimension of weird 😂

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

Found out I’ve been calling a baby by the wrong name for 2 years, even using the wrong name to address cards to this baby for milestones, and the mother never corrected me. “I thought it was just a cute nickname you had for her!”

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

@egyptian_neenan This priest is the only reason my mom converted 😂

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

I went to a funeral tonight for my childhood friend’s dad and he invited our old priest who was SO HOT like 12 y/o me could not keep it together and here he is today still hot as hell and 43 y/o me could not keep it together.

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

@cutiemcfly007 This is what I’m saying! In 2 years?!? 😂

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

In hell it’s just constant texts about sales from the one website you visited in 2015.

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

8: John Cena!
Boy: JOHNNN CEEENNNAAAA
8: JOOHHHNNN CEEEENNNAAAA
Boy: JOOHHHNNNNN
Me: guys, please, I’m hanging on by a thread
Boy: I think it’s bc you’re just old

[Ok Kate @Kateness8]

Hunter Biden do you like silly nerdy girls

[kgadi♠️ @Kgadi_yaMoloto]

Kids coughing with a U shaped tongue pisses me off😕.

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

@Staceballs ILY so much!

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

@egyptian_neenan 😂😂😂😂

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

@egyptian_neenan Ok but Frankie is cute!

[LL Cool Tweet @LLcoooltweet]

Me, overstimulated by a crowd of 500 of my closest friends from childhood trying to decompress in a funeral parking lot
Random man walking down the street: how much does a polar bear weigh girl?
Me: what?
Man: enough to break the ice. Hello beautiful, I’m Derek!

🙄

[Earl of FrunkPuppy @28delayslater]

Joe Biden would be president if @HunterBiden was on this app in 2024.