Laura Ockenden

Founder @cravedifferent
Work in #tourism. Aim - to master ' #sing like no one is listening, #dance like no one is watching, love like you've never been hurt'!

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

@British_Airways thank you. It has now worked 🙏( on my phone, not sure about desktop)

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

@jennifer_s_hill @British_Airways Same here since last night. Is it nearly fixed?

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Just been called poppet by a shop assistant.. It's been a while 😂

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

10 rules of biscuits:

1. When opening a packet, any broken biscuits must be consumed immediately.

2. Never dunk a biscuit for too long, you will ruin both your biscuit and your tea. Double sadness.

3. Always offer biscuits to guests, even if they claim they're not interested (they're probably fibbing).

4. Don't be the person who snatches the last biscuit of a kind unless you're prepared to face the consequences - i.e. a new enemy.

5. Always offer a hot drink with biscuits, obviously.

6. Bring out a posh selection of biscuits (metal tin, two layers separated by a sheet of springy purple cardboard, usually called a “collection”) for special occasions.

7. Always pretend you haven’t seen a plate of biscuits being passed around until they’re offered to you, then act pleasantly surprised.

8. Utilise the phrases “I really mustn’t”, “ooh, go on then” and “if you’re having one”.

9. Wrap biscuits up when not in use, either by pushing the open packet up against a wall, or by using a jar, tin or box.

10. Always have more biscuits in stock than you think you need. Never run out. Running out of biscuits is like running out of air: not ideal.

There are many more rules, but these 10 provide a good starting point.

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

@DameChlorella @Riverford 😋

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

#theboythemolethefoxandthehorse got me 🥹 . So beautiful ❤️

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Anyone else when searching for an email or something from your Mum, start typing to search by 'Mum' & quickly realise that's not their name? #mums 🤣🤦

[Culture Liverpool @CultureLPool]

#Eurovision | Thrilled and proud that #Liverpool has made it through to the final two on the @Eurovision 2023 shortlist 🤞

#Imagine #SolidarityWithUkraine #Eurovision2023

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Kirsty Wark really just said 'What is the beef with borrowing?' 🤣 #Newsnight

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Just had someone ask me “what kind of adult wears pyjamas?!” so can we get a retweet from every adult currently enjoying their pyjamas please?

[Laura Ockenden @cravedifferent]

An Ilustrated Guide to the best things to see at this Royal Palace @SevillaAlcazar in Seville, including some of my artistic interpretation. https://t.co/W6k30oNBrE #visitspain #sevilla #watercolourpainting #illustrations @sevilla @spain @viveandalucia

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Girl with pink hair on #FirstDates tonight who's pretty sure she doesn't want kids and her reasoning made sense. This was followed by a lady who adopted a child later in life & while single. Well done First Dates for giving airtime 🙌

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Yes Norrie 🎾💪#Wimbledon #teamgb

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

@DeborahWoods Sounds like booing for decades in that case 🤣

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Think the crowd needed to rethink their chants of what I think was "Bruuuuuce" for Bruce Springsteen so it didn't sound like booing 😬 #Glastonbury #brucespringsteen #macca

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Billie Eilish - surely parody waiting to happen by #frenchandsaunders if not already @Dawn_French @ferrifrump #BillieEilish #Glastonbury2022

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

@ThatEricAlper Spaceman by Sam Ryder

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

Yes we may have entered the parallel universe #EUROVISION #samryder

[Laura Ockenden @LOckenden]

@SoVeryBritish I can help you be a better person