Luke Striebich

way too into sustainability and saving the earth. beat all the ❌ichigans!

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

@Venmo Ordering the largest diameter pizza I can. Like, comically large has to turn diagonal to get through my door. Pepperoni and sausage preferably :)

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

Chicken: normal on nachos
Pork: normal on nachos
Beef: normal on nachos
All together: normal on nachos
All together in hot dog form: I get weird looks when ordering.
Make it make sense!

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

I’m sorry but if I walk by the grills I have to open all of them, again I’m sorry but I have to.

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

Poop! Oh poop

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

@jeans585 Uh oh

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

New Year’s Day Observed: left 10 piece bucket on Colonel’s Sanders grave

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

@Skyline_Chili I’m sorry we showed up 15 minutes before asking for 14 coneys. The workers on Orion place deserve a raise. I love them.

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

Guess as close as you can without going ogre

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

Shrek is just the grinch without Drew Carrey

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

It is reckless and illegal to give your true love any amount of wild birds for Christmas.

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

McCarthy can’t even drink his pain away.

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

Tar and feather her!

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

Bleeeeeewb

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what’s your blood type?”

“I’m probably a type O”, said the rabbit.

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

I love the Midwest simply for the ability to buy deviled eggs at a bar by the egg

[pj @pjayevans]

I have no idea what is in a rum and coke but they are pretty tasty

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

The thing they dont tell you about the corporate world is how often you have to talk about the weather before everyone joins the meeting.

[Luke Striebich @LStriebz]

[hi welcome to White Castle]

hi yeah I’ll take 8 cheese sliders but I can get carmalized onions and whole wheat buns?

crime ensues

…

[next]

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

they’ll figure it out if they get hungry enough

[IG: closedapp @ih8rts]

are you http? because i’m :// without you