Cake 🎂

Since the death of god, there’s been a vacancy open. You can fill that void.

[🍎 @magicinmypocket]

Pad See Ew mogs Pad Thai but they don’t want you to know that

[kevin meissner @pwnkip]

for years, society was limited to only 16 syrup squares per waffle but with recent combinatorial optimization breakthroughs our research department has achieved previously unheard of densities of waffle syrup

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

The funny thing here is, if we take you at your word, you’re basing all of your constant commentary on this situation on an objectively wrong understanding of what happened that could be corrected by watching the video all of the rest of us watched.

I think it’s more likely that you’re just lying, but either way it’s astounding.

[Cake 🎂 @Lagree2Disagree]

Hummus is very important to me, so I had to make a public psa

[Cake 🎂 @Lagree2Disagree]

I’m about to throw hands with this hummus brand. Wtf is this garbage Ithaca & Graza hummus. The Humm! hummus was sold out at Costco so I bought Ithaca. You’re telling me your 2nd ingredient is olive oil? Fuck off. Tastes like shit. Shit brand and awful hummus. Delete your company

[Nathan Bishop @nathan_h_b]

The Mariners let Humpy win again, an egregious and insulting indulgence that almost certainly directly led to yesterday’s loss. Only ritualistically sacrificing him can balance the humors and guarantee a victory this evening.

Humpy must die.

[Cake 🎂 @Lagree2Disagree]

This is like the shopping cart litmus test for leftists. You can’t be trusted if you avoid paying for public transit 😡

[antifa🔻girlfriend @lllliatttt]

boy i sure do love exiting subway stations through the emergency exit door! unfortunately i am a very slow walker and easily distracted so sometimes i look up from my phone and find that i’ve been holding the door open for a minute or more without even realizing it

[The Chaos Ball Podcast @ChaosBall1977]

Hell yeah, let’s get it George

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

“That amulet is corrupting you take it off!” you’re all just jealous of my sick ass amulet

[Cake 🎂 @Lagree2Disagree]

Your honor, I have placed all of our evidence into Chat GPT and it has stated Not Guilty.

I rest my case.

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

MVP.

[AndrewMohawk⁽ⁿᵘˡˡ⁾ @AndrewMohawk]

The future of mankind

[sophie @netcapgirl]

every time i text the group chat

[Waseem Kurawley @waskhalifa_]

POV your husband just got shot in the fucking neck

[katie @skatie420]

you’ve just created a million Jimmy Kimmels

[Right Wing Cope @RightWingCope]

Hey @elonmusk is this still true?

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

shoutout to the etsy witch