Lance Catamaran

Your intrepid play-by-play announcer for Southpaw Regional Wrestling.

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@HaleyforMI This you? https://t.co/JlBMvBgScj

[Haley Stevens @HaleyforMI]

I love Michigan and am so proud to have put up my hand to serve. I spoke with Abdul a few moments ago to offer him my full support as we work to defeat Mike Rogers this November.

Thank you, Michigan. https://t.co/xVnIAFBqLl

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@alvinsng Alvin, why do you not love your baby?

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

Hendry: 13 years experience
Saints: 14 years experience
Page: 20 years experience

PC had nothing to do with any of them.

[Rick Ucchino @RickUcchino]

Oba Femi, Trick Williams, Je'Von Evans, Ethan Page, Joe Hendry, Ricky Saints, Lucien Price, Bronco Nima, Jacy Jayne, Fallon Henley, Lainey Reid, Blake Monroe, Sol Ruca, Lola Vice, Lash Legend, Tatum Paxley and now Jaida Parker.

The amount of talent that Shawn Michaels has graduated from NXT within the past year is insane.

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@JDfromNY206

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

The irony of this pick-me bitch wanting to call someone else a collaborator against their own cause.

[Brianna Wu @BriannaWu]

Can a Jewish friend please give me the K pass?

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

Dolly used her wealth and fame to build people up. Joanne uses hers to tear them down.

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library was the best contribution to child literacy ever made by a celebrity. Our paths crossed once, in the 90s, backstage at a talk show, and I was completely tongue-tied and starstruck. RIP Dolly. You were a complete, irreplaceable one-off.

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[SEScoops @sescoops]

Statement on our WWE–ESPN report

Yesterday we published a report from BJ Bethel on WWE’s relationship with ESPN. We are retracting that story in its entirety.

Before a story like this runs, the subject deserves a direct chance to respond, and that step wasn’t taken to the appropriate standard. Since publication, it’s come to light that this effort fell way short. We ran it and the buck stops with us.

We’ve parted ways with Mr. Bethel, have had our verification procedures reviewed by an outside partner, and updated our process as a result.

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@AEW

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@SoDuTw @nicklopiccolo If the erection lasts more than 4 hours call a doctor immediately.

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@SoDuTw RIP you legendary asshole. 🫡

[Sean Ross Sapp of Fightful.com @SeanRossSapp]

Word has emerged that @sodutw (Rovert) has passed away.

Sending best wishes to his family

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

LEGENDARY fumble by Triple H.

[Wrestle Ops @WrestleOps]

BREAKING: Ilja Dragunov is departing WWE.

(PWlnsider)

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

Banger after banger so far tonight. #AEWDynamite

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@AEW @kylefletcherpro Greatest International Title reign of all time? This is @orangecassidy erasure. #AEWDynamite

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@jimmykorderas Well it isn't going to be me since I don't work for GCW.

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@jimmykorderas https://t.co/JdLp1T4pyf

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@ProtectTonyKhan Be hilarious if they can get 7K more and pass night 1 of Wrestlemania.

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

A bigger crowd than either night of Summerslam.

[WrestleTix @WrestleTix]

AEW All In: London
Sun, 30 Aug 2026, 16:30
Wembley Stadium, London

Available Tickets: 4,987
Current Setup: 45,023
Tickets Distributed: 40,036

📈 +881 since the last update (2 days ago)
📅 Days until show: 12
🔢 Total # of seats on map: 93,556
⏮ 8/25/2024: All In 53,922
💰 Resale: 373
💵 Cheapest Ticket (Standard Admission): £31.70

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

@Dsgrntldgt @orangecrushart Counter-argument: there is never a wrong time for "nazi punks fuck off".

[Lance Catamaran @LanceCatamaran]

That's our scumbag.

I'll boo him but you can never make me hate him.

[Maxwell Jacob Friedman™️ @The_MJF]

@LunaInfernale Looking forward to your future “MJF bad” tweets.

Alright I’m done with x for the day.

New Japan sucks.