Lane Elder

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

@RespectfulOrcs Ready or not

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

Heart dropped

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

4th Grader girl: My mom thinks I'm in love with her best friend's son and I think she just really wants us to get married
Other 4th Grade girl: My mom keeps trying to set me up with my cousin.
Me: ...
Her: It's not weird, my grandma and grandpa are cousins!

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

New school year, new kid quotes.

“I don’t really like any of the guys in my class. I’m not gay, I’m just bored of them.” -grace, 5th grade

“Ms. Lane, your nails are HORRENDOUS.” -Boyd, 1st grade

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

“Don’t laugh, some people DO poop in their pants and put it on other peoples’ heads by accident!”
#summerschooledition

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

Teacher: You can study astrophysics in college, which is which is like space AND math

Brody, 4th Grader: Oh I already learned that, like 2 galaxies plus 2 galaxies equals 4 galaxies

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

BREAKING: Ke Huy Quan just won an #Oscar at the Academy Awards for best supporting actor for his role in 'Everything Everywhere All at Once'

"Mom, I just won an Oscar!!"

For those unaware Ke Huy Quan spent a year with his family in a Hong Kong refugee camp before arriving in the United States of America in 1979.

What an incredible comeback and incredible story.

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

I’m getting 5th graders input what our school needs 5 years from now for our 2028 master plan. I fully expected them to talk about more recess or candy in the cafeteria, but no.

They want “somewhere secret to go if someone comes and points a gun at us.”

11 yos want this. 💔

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

Kid quotes, 5th Grade Boys puberty field trip edition!

*kid points to freckle on his arm* "Is this acne?!"
"There's a weenie!!"
"You're telling me I have a hundred million babies in my penis?"
*discussing erections* "Bro, you just got to do a lot of pushups!"

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

Bring it back

[out of context parks and rec @nocontextpawnee]

Happy Galentine’s Day 2023 💕

📸: @iamrashidajones

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

Nothing like dancing to “Gimme Gimme a man after midnight” at a lesbian Valentine’s Day party

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

Such a good read. Thanks for featuring this story @AtlantaMagazine
https://t.co/Tm33LyjpfG

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

#Hacked, but you would have known that already due to the fact that I would never use the :) face un-ironically

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

New 🧵 launching of Scott quotes

Grace: I’m taking a pic of you in your natural element
Dad: me rubbing my meat

[Lane Elder @LaneNotAStreet]

Family group chat out of context