Lane Sperkus

funny-up your feed

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

Me: Sometimes I like to relax under a shady tree and read a book.

Tree: THAT WAS MY SON!

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

no one's talking about the fact that everyone's talking about 'what no one's taking about'

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

@historyinmemes good thing he's still alive

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

people tell me i'm best in small doses

i reply, where does that leave me?

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

urggh - still writing 2025 on my venmo's

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

when my fridge makes ice it sounds like the beginning of how soon is now

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

migraine sounds like a wheat farmer claiming their harvest

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

where there is liquid smoke there is liquid fire

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

like i always say, practice being genuine until it's second nature

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

my advice: forge ahead... in regards to signatures

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

doing the same things over and over but expecting different results is the definition of my comfort zone

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

me: i'm having connectivity issues

mgr: internet?

me: synaptic

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

wife: don't go into the bedroom for the next two minutes, i'm wrapping your presents

me: ... ya sure 90 seconds isn't enough time?!!

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

Sleigh bells ring

Are you even listening??

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

@mom_tho @starringmichell one of my proudest achievements

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

rising seas endanger round coral islands

they really take atoll

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

the exciting return of @meanboyspodcast made me forget @connormcspadden used to do #spookyjokes4kidz this time of year

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

@VictorVonZoom thankee vvzoom!

[carnell Royale @brokendowndart]

A New Hope

[Drew Hugh @DrewHugh1]

This is my first rodeo clown.

[Lane Sperkus @LaneSperkus]

@lubyscafeteria Preach, you prophet!