Fabulous Canuck

Pleasantly sardonic. RTs ≠ endorsements

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@StarNasty_ @VanCityVice Clearly thought Canada was a safe place. 😬

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

DUDE LMAO THIS IS A GAS STATION😭😭😭

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@seanonolennon And if people want to pay to see that, have at it. 🤣

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@JimCosta_ The Pistons are shitting the bed. 1st seed in the east is a joke.

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@catturd2 He can’t redraw when early voting already started. Stop with this noise.

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@OliLondonTV Why did they dress her as a hay stack?

[Stacy Ann @StacyFightsBack]

Fire Jimmy Kimmel!
Repost if you are with me!
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[🇺🇸Ben Owen™️🇺🇸 @hrkbenowen]

Retweet if you’d like to see @JimmyKimmelLive fired.

@ABC and @Disney are tagged.

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@aerostocracy @DM_Maureen_ It was a Piper Saratoga.

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@DM_Maureen_ There are some loo loos out there that think they are still alive. 😬

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@GeriPerna Is this real?

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@darrenoneill @THErealDVORAK Prayers for JCD!! 🙏

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@ScottPresler Prayers!

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@Savage16May Poop.

[Stew @Stewbiedo0]

A friend dating back to high school has a German life partner and spends a lot of time in Germany. Is there now and posted that he can’t take the US gestapo government anymore and is beginning the process to move there permanently. I’m like cool, you’re there now. You’re all set. He’s like no, I have to (lays out complex process of establishing permanent residency). I reply why bother with all that? You’re there now, stay. He explains that you just can’t just do that. There’s a process or you’ll get sent back. Interesting, I say.

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@nirvana257827 @JimBurns525 @Walmart You’re an unpaid Walmart employee 😂

[Fabulous Canuck @LauraCanuck]

@ScottJenningsKY I have this argument with my sisters every year. Worst song!!