Laura_Onstot

Mother, writer, slow runner. Believer of messes and mistakes and audacious living. Sometimes funny. In the arena.

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

If your baby is constipated, put them in their car seat without a diaper. I guarantee results.

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

https://t.co/WsJrqHBTY2

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

https://t.co/fBAiDa9CV6

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

https://t.co/koRlLgEW9f

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

Read my brilliant friend's thoughts on rage and activism: https://t.co/rWb6m7S2fn

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

https://t.co/pe9RVqMSEj

[HuffPost @HuffPost]

"I didn’t care about the financial loss; I simply could not handle one more shift." https://t.co/0UYdZiU2lD

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

5yo's dinner request: "I want something that tastes like chicken nuggies, but isn't chicken." Whyyyyyyyyy

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

@LisaMcerlaneYao @kaitarford Hi @LisaMcerlaneYao ! Could you DM me your email? Thank you!

[HuffPost @HuffPost]

"I spent 90 minutes in awe watching these huge creatures sleep, eat and play." https://t.co/hHt5NTVYv0

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

As a world, I believe we need to become more tolerant of eggshells in baked goods. That's my platform.

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

The whole point of vacation is to determine how many days you can go without showering. And to eat pie for breakfast.

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

4 yo is wearing swimsuit bottoms as underwear, 6yo has a doll under her shirt (pregnant?), and I desperately need a shower. Hello, Summer, we have arrived!

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

https://t.co/UwhbZMBom1

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

Instead of running away from the world, we can find escape by immersing ourselves in it. -Anna Lembke

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

@atomic_mommy BEAUTIFUL! I love it... congrats! Have you read "Four Winds" by Kristin Hannah? Your story echoes similarities to the main characters of Hannah's book in regards to the alienation you describe.

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

@atomic_mommy Happy Birthday! I hope you eat mac n cheese, take a nap, and whine a bunch.

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

Approximately once a year, I decide to stuff a stack of 12 sheets through the paper shredder because I am too lazy to break them up into two groups. Every time they get stuck. And I never learn my lesson. Today was that day.

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

@atomic_mommy @oo0natalie0oo, this would be a perfect gig for you!

[Laura_Onstot @LauraOnstot]

Kid sleeps in for 20 mins.
Me: This is amazing!

Kid sleeps in for 28 mins.
Me: OMG, she's dead!

[Upside Dad @UpsideDad]

My 14 yo just told me I was embarrassing her. We were the only two people in the room.

Parenting achievement unlocked.