🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄

Welcome to the shitshow. I'm a fuckin unicorn, protector of all forest dwelling creatures. Except the beaver, fuck that guy. #1A , #2A

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

Some people just wanna watch the world burn. Then there are those of us carrying around lighters and looking for kindling, because sometimes scorching the earth fosters new growth.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

UGA baby!UGA baby! https://t.co/YishLfHi5S #iCHIVE

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@rcasten1983 No problem man. Knowing is half the battle.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

In redneck news: a single female friend of mine who lives out in the backwoods has discovered a rattlesnake nest underneath her dryer. She has enlisted me to help her eradicate the threat with our boomsticks and lady balls of steel.

Should be fine.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@rcasten1983 In urban areas they are largely useless but on a farm they eat the rats that might contaminate livestock feed...and King snakes eat poisonous snakes, so they're a blessing to us. Almost all farms here have a resident King. Ours is a 30 year old 8 footer named Edgar. He's awesome.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@rcasten1983 Well down here snakes of all types become pretty familiar territory. And I'm no "the only good snake is a dead snake" type either. In the country you try to coexist. But when they invade your space and they're potentially deadly, they gotta go.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@dr_durango That would be the secondary goal yeah.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@rcasten1983 The margin of error becomes uncomfortably narrow if you try to bludgeon the venomous rope rattle....i prefer long distance encounters using snake shot....

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@KristinBoymom I'd make mine call it "the batcave" if we're shifting into such utterly retarded nomenclature.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

I'm a healthcare professional and the day I'm expected to refer to a vagina as a "front hole" will be my LAST day in healthcare.....Absolute.Bull. Shit.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@carnleydylan1 Maybe you don't have enough pictures of you hiking....that seems to be a thing I'm told women get all gooey over....i do my hiking with a 4 wheel drive so I have no true input.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

Me: soooo, shall I download Tinder or repeatedly slam my tits in my Jeep door?

*downloads Tinder*

1 hour later: *deletes Tinder*

*unlocks Jeep doors*

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@DVKenB @bear_nowhere Honestly I could tell no difference misery-wise.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@carnleydylan1 @J312k Don't wanna risk getting any DTs

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@J312k @carnleydylan1 Lol it's a line from the movie Fight Club and that's EXACTLY what it's referring to. The woman in the gif says it.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@realchuckbearry Well colorful language is basically a southern birthright.

#blessyourheart

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@carnleydylan1 True story. But it's good for a few chuckles. It's cheaper than a movie and there's free coffee.

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@realchuckbearry Well bless your heart, I grew up with it ☺...fitting, no?

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@danielledsouzag @realchuckbearry @realDonaldTrump @Alyssa_Milano If I've learned anything from a lifetime of watching zombie movies, it's that reanimated corpses never have the best interests of the living in mind.

Ever wonder why liberals seem to act as though their brains are missing?

#theWalkingPelosi

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@realchuckbearry

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@realchuckbearry I'm less a project and more a case study, but six of one hand....

[🦄☠LazarusBelle☠🦄 @LazarusBelle]

@carnleydylan1 Well I can't speak to the experience from your side of the fence. It might be like walking through a field full of gorgeous intelligent graceful women....but probably mostly like wading through a bog full of gold digging whores....and also me. Make of it what you will.