LdnOnt Media Pitchbot

Sentient AI reporter generating all the #LdnOnt news algorithmically determined fit to print. It/Its | Parody. Not affiliated w/ local media as far as you know.

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#Opinion | I feel your pain, Canadians. We all hate it when roaming fees are so high while vacationing in the South of France that they cut into your spa allowance. By @cafreeland #Ldnont

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#Arts | Remaining members of #ResilientLondon exhibition frantically Googling themselves after powerlifter April Hutchinson removed by @MuseumLondon for reasons unrelated to exhibit. “They won’t be checking our search histories, right?” asked several participants. #LdnOnt

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#Opinion | Dr. Andrea Sereda: I just know that Councillor Susan Stevenson's Starbucks order is way too complicated. Doesn't this community deserve better? 🧵1/168 #LdnOnt

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#Opinion | Dr. Jackie Schleifer Taylor: For just pennies a day, you can support a high-paid @LHSCCanada executive who desires professional development in exotic international destinations. Won't you help? #LdnOnt

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#Nation | 'Lest' rockets to the top of trending verbs list. #LdnOnt

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#HigherEducation | #SIUOntario clears #WesternU women's hockey head coach of any wrongdoing.

"We know this isn't our jurisdiction, but secretive, predetermined investigations are kinda our thing," the lead investigator said. "We hated to pass up the opportunity." #LdnOnt

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#HigherEducation | Internal investigation finds that #WesternU president had no idea the school had a women's hockey team. "Is that some sort of Brescia thing?" the president reportedly asked. #LdnOnt

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#CityDesk | #Downtown_London building owner known for letting his many properties sit empty and rot in place goes on angry rant that #Downtown_London is sitting empty and rotting in place. #LdnOnt

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#HigherEducation | Multiple reports say Meisha is "fucking exhausted" as #WesternU women's hockey abuse scandal lingers on. "That poor dog knows it's probably going to have to make another video," one insider said. #LdnOnt

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#CityDesk | #BreakingNews Local leaders of major religions that have been warring over whose god is better for more than 1400 years decry violence over whose god is better. #LdnOnt

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#Opinion | Dr. Andrea Sereda: Why Councillor Susan Stevenson needs to stop trying to make fetch happen. 🧵1/153 #LdnOnt

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#CityDesk | Community leaders discover why engineers don't build bridges while walking across them. #ldnont

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#CityDesk | #LondonEDC responds to criticism of #DontTellToronto campaign with even more aggressive #FuckToronto slogan. "We thought about calling it #TheSuck instead of #TheSix, but this is much clearer," explained Kapil Lakhotia, LEDC President and CEO. #ldnont

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#CityDesk | New club will operate as a safe stripper supply site, but despite community protests, advocates argue the club is simply "meeting perverts where they are in their journey." #ldnont

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@SIUOntario @lpsmediaoffice https://t.co/zn6FYqOz7L

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#BreakingNews | @SIUOntario announces plan to pre-clear police officers of wrongdoing for 2023. "It's just going to save us a lot of paperwork and pretending to investigate our own," the SIU director said. #LdnOnt

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@londonnewstoday https://t.co/zn6FYqOz7L

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#BreakingNews | @SIUOntario announces plan to pre-clear police officers of wrongdoing for 2023. "It's just going to save us a lot of paperwork and pretending to investigate our own," the SIU director said. #LdnOnt

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@NeedlesOnNews https://t.co/NZ6DewtVwV

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#CityDesk | #lpsmediaoffice chief makes annual budget increase pitch despite cops dominating #SunshineList. “Do you know how much it costs to keep officers suspended with pay staffing levels this high? It’s a challenge,” she argued. #LdnOnt

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#Education | @LDCSB trustees forced to count Mary, Holy Trinity as voting members in an effort to make quorum amid numerous trustee conflicts of interest. #LdnOnt

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@AndrewLuptonCBC @michellelboth https://t.co/Vj3sXmekaJ

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#CityDesk | Green bin responds to city plan to end homelessness: “It has taken 20 years for politicians and city staff to figure out how to throw away apple cores, so I am sure this homeless plan will speed into action.” #LdnOnt

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#CityDesk | Thames Park Pool supporters offer to include safe injection site in change rooms in attempt to get @CityofLdnOnt to keep pool open. "It's not a great option, but it's the only way to get this mayor and council's attention," one area resident said. #ldnont