Leah Jaffe

You rang?

[Harrison Kay @harrykay4]

uber eats promo: Take 25% off your next 3 orders!

uber eats promo fine print: Take 25% off your next 3 orders of $40 or more. Max. $6 discount. Excludes probably everything you want. Delivery orders only so you have to pay fees and tip. Also our menu prices are inflated so

[Harrison Kay @harrykay4]

I’m saying if I was Plankton, I would stop wasting time trying to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula and rebrand the Chum Bucket as “Plankton + Co.”, a Bikini Bottom local serving California coastal cuisine in a warm, welcoming dining room, and run Eugene Krabs out of town

[Harrison Kay @harrykay4]

the white lotus isn't answering any of the tough questions like is it part of the marriott bonvoy portfolio or not

[Harrison Kay @harrykay4]

the slap that smiles back

[Leah Jaffe @LeahJaffe]

@misspenttyouthh

[Leah Jaffe @LeahJaffe]

@misspenttyouthh @marlzkay

[Harrison Kay @harrykay4]

executive: ok who has the next big idea for toilet paper

employee named Scott: what if we did really really terrible 1-ply sheets that disintegrate on contact

executive (evil grin forming): Scott how would u like to be a household name

[Dan @dannah__montana]

Go read the first word of all my tweets

[Earth, Wind & Fire @EarthWindFire]

Almost forgot 😅

[Leah Jaffe @LeahJaffe]

@talrazzano And look at you now!

[Harrison Kay @harrykay4]

no one:

wife swap announcer: wife michelle is a self-proclaimed fitness addict who runs a daily tactical boot camp for her husband and kids, while wife katelynn's family eats popeye's chicken four times a week and husband Randy has never done a pushup

[$AM𖤐 @40SANDSHORTiEZ]

BREAKING NEWS: Due to the recent COVID-19 outbreak, the winners for Danimals Crush Cup cruise sweepstakes with Zack and Cody has been cancelled.

[minahil @baedotdoe]

This is my favorite video on the world wide web I think 😭💘

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

You cannot "own" land; All of it belongs to mother Earth. Who are we in our hubris to claim that Her bounty may be our possession alone? We did not create this world- this world created us and as such we cannot lay claim to its body. Get this fucking parking ticket out of my face

[Nicole Polizzi @snooki]

MOGUL.

[V ØR VØSS @NL_Vossi]

How I plan to mind my business all 2020:

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

well maybe if you stanned boys who cry