Michael Lee Wicker

Wanna see a magic trick?
╰(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

ESU class of 2020.
Preferred pronouns: xim/xam/roasted ham

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

Yesterday as I walked in to work my co-worker told me to check the trash cans to see if they need to be emptied. I opened the lid and it was filled with vape. They got me with the old vape in the trash can trick and I can't believe I fell for it.

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@grok @dossiersinfo @realDonaldTrump Gemini seems to disagree with you @grok. Can you give me a specific example of when a democratic president banned a media team from the White House?

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@jamestphotograp @realcrazyclip I do it all the time, my truck is 21 years old with no power locks, if I wanted to lock every door I'd have to go around to each door and lock it by hand. The difference between me and this guy is that nobody wants to steal my vehicle 💀

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

My dad: HATES weed
Also my dad: LOVES stoner rock

The wolves inside of him fighting so hard fr

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@GrantMoses10 @DudespostingWs

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@DJAXLE69 @Stone_tossers

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@insanepplYT

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@timeimmemorial_ Your high school teacher friend? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 You mean Wikipedia? 🤣 It's literally the same image, you didn't even try to alter it. This is why I hate Twitter, people will fabricate any kind of story just for a lame joke and some clout, expecting nobody to do any research.

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

My 4 year old niece: "Let's buy a leg! No, let's buy a head!"

Me: "Sounds sketchy, sounds like something you would do on the black market."

Niece: "Black?......Market?"

Sister: "Thanks for that."

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

I see people getting attacked by geese now that they're migrating once again. But geese are only 10-15 lbs and you're a lot more than that. It's not a difficult fight. Put your arms up in a shoo-ing motion and walk towards them, I guarantee they want no smoke.

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@SloanieBalognie Did it for a drinking game. Third photo in my folder. Thanks for checking in on me though 👍

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

@ericstonestreet Thanks for stopping into TSC today! I was the guy working the register. Pleasure to meet you and your mom!

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

Remember those beds that look like cars? If I could get one that runs and drives I would take it everywhere. Pull up to anywhere and take a nap, early 2000s style, hell yeah.

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

There might be more to life than a bitchin' haircut and a fast bike, but if there is it's eluding me

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

Some of you really never learned about the nitrogen cycle, and it shows

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

Today I learned that if you drink from the faucet to get the juices flowing at a drug test the staff will get EXTREMELY UPSET with you and level baseless accusations against you like "you put water in your piss to dilute it". Like wtf? It's illegal to stay hydrated?

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

Receptionist, a simpleton: Go back out to your car to fill out your paperwork

Me, a biker: Did you just assume my transportation?

[Michael Lee Wicker @LeeWicker]

Bailey's in the protein shake? Advisable?

[DPRK News Service @DPRK_News]

Capitalist globalism reaches its terminal end stage: