LendMeYourEar

Just hanging with the cats, and the dog, and saying things out loud.

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

@warmestblankets Jail = free food, healthcare and daily exercise time, right? And it’s not like you have control over your own body outside of jail so….

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

How to make sure the seat next to you on the airplane stays empty… wear your “make America great” hat onboard. Way to win at open seating white dude…. #southwest

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

@warmestblankets And you… like myself, will say one day “I got my dad on and off the toilet today and wiped his ass….so…..”

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

@warmestblankets So like when my brother visits once a year but then likes to give me advice on what the parents should be doing? Or how I should feel?

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

@ProPlan @cynthia_meyer Wait… no I’m Lincoln @2020_lincoln

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

Bad News/Good News: Bad News - I sliced a large chunk out of the top of my very useful finger. Good News: no one will know whether I’m flipping them off or not. #goodnews #badnews #pamperedchef

[Cameron Bradford @camerobradford]

Very crisp image. I can practically see the institute where I studied how to be stupider

[Meredith Barrett @sparklyscalpel]

To anyone who grew up reading Shel Silverstein…found it.

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

@warmestblankets Just that time there were snakes on a plane I think…

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

How am I supposed to get good deals on things I don’t actually need on #PrimeDay when my internet is out? Thanks #xfinity for saving me money… I guess?

[LizaMinnelliOutlives @LiZaOutlives]

Liza Minnelli has outlived Elon Musk’s deal to buy Twitter. The mogul has terminated his acquisition of the company.

[P SCOTT ✨ @prescotttyler]

If I was president I would put Netflix, Hulu, Prime, HBO, and every other streaming service in a room together and make them collectively decide how loud each volume number is

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

What happened to late night fast food? Tried to get @tacobell twice in the last week. 1st time they were closed because it was 11pm. 2nd time, at 9:30pm they were out of beef, chicken, beans, rice and cheese… um… what’s left? Can I order a tortilla? Nah….

[yeah ok @poutinesmoothie]

Well played, Target.

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

@warmestblankets Lol! #5 is questionable but….. i see it…. I’d also have to throw Eleanor Roosevelt into the mix… she seems interesting….

[Levi @ComeKingdomCome]

This is the only July 4th weekend video I recognize.

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

Spent a lot of time trying to figure out this @BurgerKing kids meal Barbie… why is one arm stuck in the air? Why does she look like a Hitler Youth Barbie? #barbie #burgerking #why

[Dan Rather @DanRather]

Dear Supreme Court,
Thanks for nothing.
- Planet Earth

[Ben Greenman @bengreenman]

I know they say Lake Superior is cold, but this is next-level cold.

[LendMeYourEar @LendMeYourEar15]

Playing the “what did the dog roll in?” game as I give him a morning bath and try to not think about what it could be and not dry heave at the same time. #dog