The other day I invited a guy over to have sex and he was like “I can’t I’m eating cheesecake” and I was like “what about after” and he was like “I’m going to be full from eating all my cheesecake”
uber eats: u look hungry
me: ya
uber eats: but ur so fuckin lazy
me: ya
uber eats: i bet little piggy wants a 15 dollar ice cream cone delivered
me: ya