Jaron Thorley

This account is purely for documenting the hilarious adventure of “Life With Brynne”

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

晚风 花朵 爱情 @grok

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

@WasatchSnow @WasatchSnow Do we know how much snow/precipitation we would need to receive to make up for the below average we’ve received over the last several years?

[The Kyiv Independent @KyivIndependent]

Such a decision would allow the U.S. to initiate criminal prosecutions against the group and its members, as well as seize its assets worldwide. The final decision on this has yet to be made, according to the sources.

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

“Toddlers are like racist people, but with food. They don’t like to mix.”

#LifeWithBrynne
#BrynneQuote

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

“I like flaccid bacon”

#LifeWithBrynne
#BrynneQuote

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

@PrestonDarger The 4 alarm burger from Wendy’s

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

Went to shovel the snow and found this. Someone teach Brynne how to dress for Winter. #LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

All these were said by Brynne in a two minute conversation:

“Jaron I am so excited for a a new mop I just bought”

“What I’m really on the hunt for is a good scrub brush”

“The day we get an actual carpet shampooer is the day I die and go to heaven”

#LifeWithBrynne

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

We don’t want to have lockdowns. The cure cannot be worse than the problem itself!

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

Brynne: “I really do think I deserve scallops on the weekly.”

#LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

Brynne just learned at the age of 30 what the expression “when life gives you lemons” means. She just thought it meant life sometimes gives you gifts, because in her words, “who wouldn’t want a bunch of free lemons?”
#LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

*Us arguing of who has better conversation skills

Brynne: “I’m gonna be honest, I’ve got good enough conversation skills that I can have fun on a date by myself”

#LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

Me: “Why does my eye itch?”
Brynne: “Because it has a beam in it for being a butthole to me”
#LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

*Waiting at the Hale Center theater for our show to start

Brynne: “My goal is to heckle a show just once”
Jaron: “Why!?!”
Brynne: “Just to know what it’s like to be bad for once”

#LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

*Lying in bed 10 seconds before falling asleep

Brynne: “What if I had a hairy butt?”

#LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

@jacobrexlee I think we proceed as planned. We are at 8% hospital capacity so we have a long ways to go before I think we should start really worrying.

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

“I feel like everyone should start life fat because then they’ll have a hilarious personality”
#LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

“If the success of motherhood was measured by how much you love your baby, I’d be first in my frickin class” #LifeWithBrynne

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

What transpired this morning while we were both getting ready:

Brynne - Puts make up on Jaron for no reason
Jaron - Puts toothpaste on Brynne as retaliation
Brynne - Sack taps Jaron and eliminates all chances of future children

#LifeWithBrynne #OverReaction

[Jaron Thorley @LifeWithBrynne]

Just got this text from Brynne:

“Going to Macy’s was super awkward. I saw Brooke and an old patient at a distance in there and had to avoid both of them because all that I had in my hands was sausage, condoms and hemorrhoid cream.”

#LifeWithBrynne