Narcissists don't have empathy; that's why they are very dangerous for your mental health.
They are not broken. They are built differently. Love will not fix what was never there. They do not misunderstand you. They understand you perfectly, then exploit it.
Your kindness is access. Your forgiveness is a pattern they repeat. You are not in a relationship. You are in a cycle designed to keep you confused enough to stay.
See it clearly. Then leave. Not for them to notice. For you to survive.
Children of narcissistic parents who don't become narcissists themselves but instead become highly sensitive, empathic, compassionate, and intuitive are some of the strongest people on earth. Their entire lives are usually devoted to healing from wounds they never asked for.
NARCISSISTS expect everything to go back to normal as if their actions left no scars. They invalidate your pain, minimize your experience, and pretend the emotional damage they caused was just a “misunderstanding.” They want peace without accountability, forgiveness without change, and access without growth.
Beware of those who constantly belittle you, disrespect is not a slip of the tongue, it's a choice.
Disrespect is never casual. It's a signal that they see you as less, and they want you to accept it.
Someone who talks down to you has already revealed their values: your dignity is negotiable to them. That's not carelessness; that's contempt exposed.
Cut them off cleanly. No explanations, no apologies. Silence is the loudest boundary you can set.
Trauma survivors have plenty of noise coming from inside our head; so we need to be ruthless about shutting out the noise outside our head when we can. Block, mute, delete-- people, social media feeds, any gaslight-y bullsh*t that doesn't contribute to your recovery. Be BRUTAL.
Adult female bullies don't always yell or fight.They manipulate quietly.
They twist situations to make someone feel left out, unwanted, or not good enough.
They use triangulation, silent treatment, and their little circle of enablers to tear someone down. It's calculated. It's intentional.
And it's abuse —just dressed up to look harmless.
I didn’t recognise my marriage as controlling for years.
I thought control would look like someone barking orders, making demands, telling me what I could and couldn’t do. But that wasn’t what I was experiencing.
The control was operating in much subtler ways.
His mood would shift when I made my own plans. His tone would change when I expressed an opinion that didn’t sit well with him. If I held my ground, it often turned into long late night lectures that wore me down. If I made a decision he didn’t like, he moved into shaming, belittling, and accusations that left me questioning myself.
Nothing was explicitly forbidden, but I ended up aligning with his preferences because he created an environment where choosing for myself came at a cost.
I started adjusting my behaviour and reconsidering my choices. I started scanning his face for signs of a mood shift. I shaped myself around what felt safer, and what would avoid the fallout.
When you give up your own voice to manage someone else’s reactions, that is control too.
#CoerciveControl #ControllingRelationship
When you start talking about the abuse you endured, here are the responses you’ll get:
“You shouldn’t air your dirty laundry.”
“You’re keeping yourself sick/stuck by focusing on it.”
“Take the high road and be the bigger person.”
“Oh yeah? I had it way worse than you.”
“Why are you still talking about this?”
“At some point, you have to move on.”
“Forgiveness is for you.”
“Family is family.”
“You’re giving them power by talking about it.”
“Don’t let them live rent free in your head.”
“Maybe you should focus on the positive.”
“Your body can’t heal while you keep revisiting the past.”
“Everyone has trauma.”
“You need to forgive for your own peace.”
“Why do you care what they think?”
“You’re making yourself look unstable.”
“Good people don’t expose family business.”
“You’re attracting more of it by focusing on it.”
“There are two sides to every story.”
“Stop letting it define you.”
“Stop playing the victim.”
“Some things should be kept private.”
“It takes two to tango.”
“You’re stuck in a victim mentality.”
“Pray more about it.”
“Be careful what you post online.”
“Jeez—I’d hate to be your relative.”
“What you focus on expands.”
“Forgive, as Jesus has forgiven you.”
And a survivor almost never hears:
“Oh my God. I am so sorry that happened to you.
“You did not deserve that.”
“What can I do to support you?”
That is the difference between someone protecting the system or themselves, and someone protecting the person who survived it, because the first set of responses quietly shifts responsibility onto the survivor.
Be quieter.
Heal faster.
Forgive harder.
Make everyone less uncomfortable.
But the problem was never that the survivor named the harm—the problem was the harm itself. Naming what happened to you is one of the most critical steps in healing. It’s orientation.
QUIET ABUSE:
THINGS NARCISSISTS DO THAT NO ONE ELSE SEES
1. Silent Treatment – They ignore you for hours or days to punish you.
2. Gaslighting – They make you question your own memory or reality.
3. Backhanded Compliments – Insults disguised as praise.
4. Emotional Withholding – They refuse affection, support, or validation.
5. Blame Shifting – Everything somehow becomes your fault.
6. Playing the Victim – They twist the story so others feel sorry for them.
7. Subtle Put-Downs – Small comments meant to slowly destroy confidence.
8. Triangulation – They involve other people to create jealousy or competition.
9. Moving the Goalposts – No matter what you do, it’s never good enough.
10. Public Charm, Private Cruelty – They appear kind to others but different behind closed doors.
11. Ignoring Your Boundaries – They pretend not to hear your needs or limits.
@smerconish Mr. Smerconish, I thought of a retelling of the ballad "Sir Patrick Spens" but this time with Private Patrick Spencer walking along an American beach and seeing a tweet on X on his phone by President Trump announcing that his unit will be sent to Iran.
This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said "I would like to withdraw $10". The teller told her "For withdrawals less than $100, Please use the ATM." The old lady wanted to know why...
The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her "These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you."
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said "Please help me withdraw all the money I have." The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her "You have $300,000 in your account but the bank doesn't have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow.?"
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. "Well please let me have $3000 now." The teller kindly handed $3000 very friendly and with a smile to her.
The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account.
The moral of this story is,
Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.!!
Last night, after she’d gone to bed, my 16 y/o daughter receives a text from a friend. (We keep electronics in our room at night). I know my daughter isn’t gonna see it for a while and I know the answer to the girl’s dance-class-related question. So I just pick up the phone and answer it really quick as if I’m my daughter and leave it at that.
Tonight, I see her giggling over her phone. I ask what’s up. Apparently, the other girl’s mother had just wanted to get an answer to the question really quick, so she picked up HER daughter’s phone and texted mine as if she were her daughter. (basically both of us were too lazy to go through the rigmarole of explaining, “hi, this is Mrs. So-and-so, and here’s why I’m texting you on your friend’s phone…”
But the funny part was how the two girls figured this out. Because the first one was so appalled at seeing her mother‘s perfectly punctuated and capitalized sentences, that she felt she needed to come clean that it was her mom lest my daughter think she is that conscientious.
And my daughter, likewise, didn’t want her friend to think that SHE uses correct grammar when texting either.
So what I learned today is that it is apparently humiliating to be caught correctly formulating sentences via text.
the best way to tell if your person is the person you are going to marry is to go on a trip together
you can slowly evaluate someone through dates and hanging out, but a trip magnifies every single behavior they have
what happens when the plan falls apart? does he get frustrated, or does he laugh and say “let’s find another way”
what happens if the airline loses your baggage? does he panic or does he figure it out and make sure you get it back?
what happens when you’re both tired, hungry, and everything starts going wrong? does he make it harder for you too, or does he stay gentle?
sometimes traveling together is not about the places. it’s about seeing how your person handles the unknown and knowing that no matter what goes wrong, he is still the one who makes you feel safe.
Dear men and women,
In 2026, if you already own a smartphone, there's truly no excuse for staying broke. The tools for growth and financial freedom are right in your pocket.
Follow these guides:
1. Ensure you have a stable internet connection.
2. Head to the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.
3. Download free or low-cost apps like Coursera, Udemy, edX, or even YouTube for quality learning.
4. Choose a high-demand skill or course that excites you (digital marketing, graphic design, video editing, coding basics, data analysis, or AI tools), and commit to it consistently for 3 to 6 months.
5. Put what you learn into practice immediately. Action creates results; don't wait for perfection or miracles.
6. If you master video editing, start creating engaging content on TikTok, YouTube Shorts, Instagram Reels, or Facebook. Consistency builds an audience and opens doors to sponsorships, ads, or freelance gigs.
7. As a graduate, freely share your knowledge on X. Post valuable threads, insights, or tips. Ignore the naysayers who mock you for "tweeting for Elon's money". Real opportunities often come from building visibility and authority online.
8. Consider learning a solid vocational skill alongside digital ones, such as welding and fabrication, auto repair, fashion design, electrical installation, or plumbing..
9. Actively build your presence across social media platforms. Share your journey, wins, and value consistently.
10. Focus on learning before rushing to earn. Avoid shortcuts, jealousy, or comparing yourself to people who have been consistent for years. Patience pays off. Give yourself 1 to 2 years of dedicated effort, and the results will compound.
You have everything you need to start today. Take that first step, stay disciplined, and believe in your progress. Your breakthrough is closer than you think.
Above all, love God.
@elonmusk Yeah Elon , if you are so miserable, try giving all your money away and drop out and be poor and homeless, and then tell us about how money can't buy you happiness.
@elonmusk This reminds me of the song "Money" by Pink Floyd which basically has the lyric, to paraphrase the song, that Money is so bad and evil so they say, but the people who are rich and say this don't want to part with it or give it away.
@elonmusk I bet that I could prove you wrong. Give me 20 million dollars, and I will prove to you that money will buy happiness. Your problem is that you have never been really poor and really suffered, so you take your wealth for granted.
@elonmusk Try being poor and homeless, and then you will see what real suffering and sadness is like. You are so privileged, and you don't know what real misery and discontentment is like.
You know what's crazy to me?
There is someone out there who knew everything about you. What kept you up at night: What made you sad. What broke you. They knew your laugh, your mannerisms, the little details no one else noticed. They saw your beauty and your kindness up close. And even after knowing all of that, they still chose to hurt you.
Donald Trump is so nuts, sometimes we forget how racist he is, and so racist, sometimes we forget how sexist he is, and so sexist, sometimes we forget how stupid he is, and so stupid, sometimes we forget how evil he is, and so evil, sometimes we forget how corrupt he is, and so corrupt, sometimes we forget how incompetent he is, and so incompetent, sometimes we forget how depraved he is, and so depraved, sometimes we forget how nuts he is.