Queue

Baby Jenkins

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

Welcome to Twitter..

Say goodbye to your job, friends, and relationships.

[hunter @3gpmh]

pulled her panties down and had to solve a reCAPTCHA

[MACÈO MULAN @maceomulan]

even the dollar store got tap pay, walmart so fucking raggedy

[Bonita Aplomb @OKen_Ishii]

It does seem like people come to the airport to cough as much as they can

[babybluegirl🗣️🏁 @melaniesbush]

noise cancelling thighs

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

Fellas.. Text messaging is not for conversation.

[saeqlyx @swooqp]

it’s called ID because “I” is short for I and “D” is short for dentification

[Mike 📺 @michaelcollado]

Opening Twitter is like having a lil phone cigarette

[Softboy @softboywin]

i accidentally said “large” instead of “grande” at Starbucks and they dragged me behind the counter and shot me in the leg

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

Slang and bad grammar hurts me so much.

[Jay 💫 @Jayyakamii]

White people can identify 500 breeds of dogs but will mix up two black coworkers

[Neet @neet_sol]

The reason 9-5 offices are so cold is because you’re surrounded by the ghosts of people’s dead hopes and dreams

[Softboy @softboywin]

We cannot all be trying to head home at 5:00PM. We have to start going home in groups

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

@NBAonPrime aka Netflix

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

@Mariners Raleigh had an above level season last year. He’s not that good. He wont even have 20 homers tbis season.

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

@MadDogUnleashed https://t.co/2Welxo22cm

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

@LangmanVince @iownjd Corny as hell.

[Dave † 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸🇮🇪🎸🎶 @daveguitarjones]

When the inventor of the USB stick dies they will gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

[🎀💕 @lil_mss3]

I hate people that can't enjoy silence. Every second talk talk talk😭😭😭

[Queue @LiquidCH4]

The first thing I seen was the cauliflower ears on Markwayne Mullin and instantly Wiki’d him. He can fight!

@KristiNoem @SenMullin @DHSgov

[January James-Riggs @JanuaryJames]

It’s rude to ask someone about their body count. It’s none of your business how many people I’ve killed.