Facing trauma is part of life. A lot of people want to talk about how to avoid traumatic experiences, which is a good thing.
It's equally important to talk about how to cope after traumatic experiences do happen.
People who have support (someone to listen, to validate, and to take interest in) what someone's experienced are able to recover.
I've worked with many people who were met with:
- 'that wasn't a big deal'
- 'man up'
- 'get over it'
- 'don't be so sensitive'
- 'that didn't actually happen.'
This adds another layer of wounding and shame because we are wired to connect. When people invalidate our experiences, it's an emotional abandonment.
We need co-regulation: people who are connected to themselves and able to hold space for us.
It's through consistent co-regulation that we learn to be resilient. With the help of others, our nervous system regulates, and we can return to homeostasis.
Without co-regulation, we cannot cope with our emotions or experiences. Adult who can't emotionally regulate often: spiral quickly into rage, shut down (stonewall), can't seek solutions in conflict, and are highly sensitive to any form criticism.
Support from others shows teaches us how to support ourselves.
.@pandocruises still no word from you. We travel home today without a pushchair (lost by yourselves) and your on board team are refusing to help us with one to get home. How are we meant to get home with our luggage without a pushchair? Extremely disappointed and upset.
.@pandocruises sad our last day on our cruise has been completely ruined because our pushchair was lost at the start of the trip by yourselves and we’ve been yet to receive compensation/a replacement to help us get home…
Has anyone else had a horrible cough/virus that doesn’t seem to go? Not Covid, but producing horrible cough that seems to go and then comes back with a vengeance?
It seems to be affecting several members of my family and friends atm
Oh God, I need to stop reading about the #TheQueue because I'm starting to feel the pull of it, like some weird magnetic force. Will now lock the front door before bed to stop me running out at 3am shouting 'I'm off to Bermondsey!' with a packet of Mini Cheddars and nothing else.