Lane Montgomery

All I do is retweet stuff

[Lane Montgomery @Lm4274]

Guess which train I'm riding

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

when i say i got that dawg in me this is what i mean

[Auburn Tigers @AuburnTigers]

FOR. A. CAR!!!!!!!

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

emma woodhouse deciding who everyone should marry based on little more than vibes while knightley tries to stop her

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

A.I. will never replace me in the workplace. Only I am capable of listening to a smarter person say something and then chime in like “yeah I agree.”

[trash jones @jzux]

lord grant me the serenity to accept the vibes i cannot shift, the courage to shift the vibes i can, and the wisdom to know the difference

[pj @pjayevans]

Hey man I noticed you scheduled a meeting with me but I was hoping you could maybe cancel it because I don’t want to be here

[what kind of dog is this @genius_dogs]

absolutely the best thing you'll see all day, month, year, century

[Joshin and Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

frodo: I wish it need not have happened in my time

gandalf: it really do be like that sometimes

[Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus]

did I “kill a plant” or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

mr. elton: if you don't love me then why were you always flirting with me?? harriet who???

emma:

[Lane Montgomery @Lm4274]

I am officially old. I just thought to myself, "wow, wouldn't it be nice if they had leggings, but like in short form?" Those are bicycle shorts. Catch me at the gym after the PTA meeting

[the moon’s wife @bookishseawitch]

good morning to every english teacher who woke up this morning like “today’s the day I assign a short story that will haunt them till the day they die”

[Prof. Williams @Commandr_nchief]

God, grant me the serenity of wanting to eat the food I got at home. The courage to not buy food when I’m outside, and the wisdom to know the difference.

[Frank Gil @PastorFrankGil]

The only youth group mentioned in the bible were mauled by bears.

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

sorry i didn’t respond to your email! i did not want to

[baby ganoush @ssactrub]

Having not gotten covid yet feels like I've been hiding in the back of a 2+ year long middle school dodgeball game and the front lines have been THINNED

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

guy inventing chess: this is an allegory for the medieval system of monarchy

guy inventing checkers: hoppity hop, hop hop hop

[Brice Bonner @BriceBonner]

The Auburn family thing really ends at letting people merge after Auburn sporting events

[Lane Montgomery @Lm4274]

It's really sweet how the words we say and how we say them reflect the people who we love and spend time with. But also at the same time those words usually are like "bet" or "girl boss"

[Lane Montgomery @Lm4274]

@wallory_mintz Definitely still follow him on Facebook 😂