Mr. Fungo

Father of 2. Gambling degenerate. Vertically challenged. Occasional sports columnist. Burrito Expert

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

‘Merica!

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@Roger774501171 C-Molina
1B- Joyner
2B- Chone
3B-Glaus
SS- Disarcina
LF- Anderson
CF-Trout
RF- Salmon
DH-Ohtani
SP- Weaver
RP- KRod

The Angels have sucked for a long time.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

The 33 Greatest Wonder Years Episodes In Honor Of The Series Finale Airing 33 Years Ago This Week https://t.co/f3gZBcwT5x

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@chriscfore @TheCoachDK @Half_Zach @Tarek_Fattal @dburns26 Linfield still has a Middle School Tackle Football Team. They play against Desert Christian Academy, Redlands Adventist and a few other private schools.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

Congrats to the Dodgers and Yamamoto on the no-hitter.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

After attending the Dodgers game, my kids asked me why we are still Angels fans. According to them, “Dodgers games are more entertaining , better stadium, more exciting”. I hate to agree with them, but it’s true.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@SGVNSports Congrats to @bballcoachd

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@AMDCMartinez Great accomplishment! Congrats!

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@Cen10_baseball Congrats! Great accomplishment!

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

For all my pickleball friends check out this new facility. The place is even better in -person. https://t.co/rAyx8BNHYM

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@CoachBeede We are guilty of this. 100+ games in 11U. This did not include League Nights or scrimmages.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@johnwilson1969
I saw your question about a a good copier for $8K. I sell copiers for a living. Let me know if you want a quote. We deliver nationwide.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@bballcoachd @IE_Baseball_HQ @Inland_Sports Congrats on the new job!

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@SGVNSports Coach Prieto is a solid coach. He has a great reputation in the youth, travel ball world.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@randomrecruiter LOL! The T470 model. This laptop is a workhorse!

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@coach_simpson21 @Cen10_baseball @Cen10Huskies @GBGINLANDEMPIRE @GBGbaseballUSA Congrats to Espn, and the entire family. A great accomplishment!

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@UNABaseball @UNAAthletics @ASUNSports Congratulations, Coach! Great job!

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@CSUSB_HC Hello, Coach. Here is a video from the first pitch on Opening Day. Thought you might appreciate.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

@Jeremy_S2 @sweatystartup Fall 2026. With his July birthday, you want him starting kindergarten just after turning 6.

[Mr. Fungo @LoInTheIE]

MLB, Little League, College Baseball, it doesn’t matter. There is a special feeling on #OpeningDay. First pitch of the season. @goccaa @CSUSB_Baseball