Mr. Eggplant

Philosophy PhD, HDPD CSI SUV, watermelon GMO professor, giggle enthusiast 🇵🇸

[Tna’ @asb830]

@Dexerto Well Scotland brought their greatest weapon in Dawn

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

@RepNancyMace That’s a lot of beans you nasty bitch

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

Master has give Dobby a pink sock! 🪱

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

Master has given Dobby a prostate orgasm

[Nature Unedited @NatureUnedited]

Aquarium visitors were stunned when a leopard shark appeared to be biting another shark’s fin

Staff later explained it wasn’t aggression at all, it was actually part of shark courtship behavior.

[Waltjan @Waltjan9]

When your gargoyle is thirsty

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

men fake nut too, ain’t nobody gonna keep pounding that hallway

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Barney Frank looked disgusting--nipples protruding--in his blue shirt before Congress. Very very disrespectful.

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

@BIG_PARMENIDES @crellythecow I’ve always squatted while aiming my boner downward. Not fun, but better than dunking it or the tip hitting the cold porcelain.

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

@Jeff_mortensen @JosieStratman They asked him and he answered why are you mad

[Frank the Fisticuffs Fella @FisticuffsFella]

Joe Rogan showing up to the White House after spending a month claiming to be politically homeless

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

@esjesjesj You should try the app some time

[Afroman @ogafroman]

"In all circumstances, the jury finds in favor of the defendant"

[Randy Quaid @RandyRRQuaid]

TIME TO MAKE OAN & NEWSMAX RICH. FOX IS DEAD TO ME!

[Clint Russell @LibertyLockPod]

You occasionally get a moment that symbolizes everything wrong with this country. In this case it's a U.S. Marine veteran screaming out that no one wants to fight for Israel and a U.S. Senator breaking his arm. A perfect encapsulation of US foreign policy.

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

@Howlingmutant0 @IAPolls2022 I mean he’s got time to prove me wrong lol

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

@RepDanCrenshaw He at least you get to keep the money you piece of shit

[Mr. Eggplant @Logan_eggplant]

@Howlingmutant0 @IAPolls2022 Toth is a lot more approachable and is allegedly a good dude.