Lindsay Altschuler

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

Squid is very friendly, but he gets called squidward when he’s a little rascal.

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@Chewy this is Squid. He’s a big fan.

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

#BTS #BTSARMY #Halloween @bts_bighit

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@bts_bighit #BTS #BTSARMY #Halloween

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

Adulting is standing in your kitchen without pants on at 9:30 pm making waffles and eating them off the counter while watching a show you’ve seen at least 6 times and the cat side eye judging you

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@not_a_nathan So like pregnancy cravings?

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@PhilThirtyEight I suppose you could ask for one for your birthday… I mean it wouldn’t be publicly televised or anything, but I imagine you’d still get the same excitement factor

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

Carving the Bad Omens away #5sos5 #5sos

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@sunnybrittney You should listen to the new 5sos song Emotions… I think the bridge will hit home and hopefully you can find some comfort in it. Get well soon ❤️❤️

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@not_a_nathan Popping some Benadryl with the last drops of almost spoiled milk tho… not that I’ve done this recently (today)

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@not_a_nathan Go to any drug store they have strips of cardboard with probably 20+ hair ties that will last you. But I’d buy 2 of the packs for different locations. And then pull some hair ties off of them and put them in strange places around the house and car and work so they’re everywhere

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

Hazard of my job: coming into direct contact with play doh fragrance and smelling like I took a bath in it. Soap only goes so far…

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@ekniils Yes but you defended yourself with great dignity and I think won

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@ekniils Do what I threatened to do and free ball it

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@smheryl I believe the quantities in ascending order are as follows:
Buttload, assload, shitload, crapton, shitton, fuckton, and metric fuckton

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@not_a_nathan This but when someone says good morning and you try to reply you voice doesn’t work yet and you just screech slightly or no sound comes out at all

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@not_a_nathan Now I know where to send all my uneaten peeps (psycho)

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@JessicaVosk Downton or Veronica Mara

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@ekniils Orrrrr you nominate him anyways and make the fab 5 convince him to kick the roommate out…

[Lindsay Altschuler @LongwaysSchuler]

@ekniils @MarthaMKenyon He died