Stewie NOT Griffin

This account is not in any way associated to stewie griffin/family guy. Just role playing, cause role playing is fun. Follow here for funny quotes :D

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

I said to a fat girl today, "You're a big girl!" She replied, "Tell me something I don't know." I said, "Salad tastes good."

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

We are following the first 10 accounts that retweet all of out todays tweets!!
GO GO GOOO!!!

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

Some people just need a high-five in the face... With a chair.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing... Unless you're at a funeral.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

BEFORE b-e-f-o-r-e not "B4" we speak english not bingo.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

2,800 teenage girls get pregnant everyday. Retweet if you like pancakes.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

I LIKE COLDPLAY.
FUCK YOU.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

Retweet this to fuck with peoples timeline.

.

.

.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

If you rearrange the letters in "mother-in-law", you get "woman Hitler". Coincidence? I think not.

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

http://t.co/AtYOAyGC how can you make peace?

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

Dear life, when I said "Can my day get any worse?"...it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Now this is what I call bad parents.. Taking pictures of their sons in balls.. They should me arrested

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

Genius?

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Life is fucked up, if you fuck, no one fucks you, and If they fuck you, you get fucked!

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

A dick has a sad life: His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, & his owner beats him up

[Cut4 @Cut4]

Followers to Retweet this tweet are eligible to win a baseball signed by retired @MLB player Brad Wilkerson: http://t.co/qKhDyfzV #MLBFC

[Stewie NOT Griffin @LordStewie_]

Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why and he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you"