Jordan Lucas

🌞☕️🕉 | she/her

[Luscious413👸🐝♈ @Luscious413_]

Them: “Kendrick Lamar will not perform They not like us because of the lawsuit “
#SuperBowl #kendricklamar ##KendrickBowl

Kendrick Lamar:

[😈 @turtlekiosk]

hey quit bugging me or i will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people but i can tell you are not yet aware of

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

Me: gender roles don’t exist in this hou-

Ope

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

Sometimes you work in retail long enough that you essentially have corporate hours

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

My child has been sleeping with me for 2 years and the last three days I’ve had to pull teeth to get her to bed- today I said fuck that and laid her down and walked out and this girl rly just rolled over and went to sleep. I COULD HAVE BEEN PEACEFULLY EATING LUNCH THE WHOLE TIME

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

Having no outfit for kyles graduation with 2 more days off between now and then is v bold of me

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

@yermjst I can’t make this shit up

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

The other morning Elliotte pulled her poopy diaper off right before I had to leave for work and my parents spring up and drove over in their pj’s to give her a bath and clean my house. Tonight they were on babysitting duties and I got these. Parents like this are so important.

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

GET YOUR HAIR DID PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON TELL THE DJ TO PLAY YOUR SONG

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

Kyle is less than an hour away with the dogs and Elliotte has no idea 🥹

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

If I was a dog I’d be geeked for this. Esp bc rn they have about 40 feet

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

We signed a lease on a house in Texas that starts on April 1 which means I’m getting the dogs from North Carolina and I just cannot wait to show them the yard that I got them.

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

@__notaffiliated Lmk when you find out *looks over at my two year old who still had a bottle at bedtime but with water in it bc im scared of bottle rot*

[nissa @a_brdly]

if rihanna isn’t pregnant and she sees these tweets… we’re never getting shit again 😭😭😭

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

@__notaffiliated Moms like this >>>

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

Last night I played hair salons on my sister and I’s hair but my mom said if I got hair dye on anything I’d have to replace it. I wasn’t taking any chances so I hosed mckenna off in the yard in the 40° weather. Anyway, slay.

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

Kyle: in a zoom meeting for school
Me (who hasn’t had a drink in months holding 15 ml of childrens Motrin for myself): U WANT A SHOT

He wasn’t muted

[Jordan Lucas @LucasJNichole]

@yermjst Whos more gay me or you