David Shapiro

Actor trying to be a comic who loves pro sports & flying in planes. A deli connoisseur, pizza expert, Road Geek & Portmanteau-maker.

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

My favorite Donalds:
No.1-Glover
No.2-Duck

Least favorite: Trump

#Election2016

[African American refuge @Sirferrell1]

Say it ain't fucking so

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

What appears as magic to us, is merely a more advanced being DOING THE GODDAMNED THING💁🏻‍♂️

[whitney @its_whitney]

this angle of simone biles is 🤯

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

Watching the 'not-state of the union' and it's very telling when someone has a disposable mask.
Also, @SpeakerPelosi is crushing the fashion game as usual.

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

When someone is pushing your seat bottom on a plane:
-child: okay, whatever. It happens.
-adult: f'real?!

My pug is behaving better on this flight than most of the people.

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

@missappleadams Travel saaafe

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

They've had to tell the lady on this plane next to me twice to pull her mask up. 1) thank God I got a vaccine 2) it's been a year+. How are we STILL here🤦🏻‍♂️

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

When your suicidal goals get sidetracked by your competitive psychopathy. 🥴 AM I RIGHT?

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

@missappleadams As always I'll just😶...

[Hari Kondabolu @harikondabolu]

Racism is the phrase “please stop killing us” being controversial.

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

@missappleadams 💯

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

I was today years old when I learned I could make a mustache look resplendent. You were today's years old when I told you that you'll never see it.

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

If fb is where I'm honest about my mental health, and ig is where I put pictures off stuff...what is Twitter for?

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

Bahaha. @SarahHuckabee is a big ol' bigot. https://t.co/pQeuIQrTyK

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

Hahaha https://t.co/c6zmepWvAW

[W. Kamau Bell @wkamaubell]

Imagine being this hypocritical? Then imagine at the same time claiming you are a man of God. Then imagine that your daughter gets kicked out of a restaurant & you can't think of better jokes than "small plates for small minds".

[Amy Siskind @Amy_Siskind]

Just got this message from a concerned citizen in Tornillo, TX if anyone can answer:

“I'm here along the border. Where are the girls? We can't find them anywhere. All we hear about are boys. Here in Tornillo they're bringing in boys. Where are the girls? We are panicking.”

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

@salcalanni Fuck yes.

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

@itsgabrielleu is amazing and I've always loved her acting. Shame on me for not knowing more about her being an #actorvist She's an amazing person and gives me something to aspire to be.
https://t.co/sYiQpMDsmf

[David Shapiro @LuckyJu22]

@gav_gadot @chrissyteigen Y'all got that ADR blues. I don't notice the sync like you. But I HATE sloppy ADR.

[Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren]

Children are being separated from their parents and incarcerated. It’s not enough to be outraged. Make your voice heard and help us put a stop to this. #FamiliesBelongTogether https://t.co/MDKFrWvPo3