Mary Ann Turner

I just noticed I don't have a bio. Hmm. I guess I should say I'm a non-observant, type-B, alternately grumpy and happy kind of gal.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

@SecPompeo Please STOP saying “Chinese virus.” You are making everything worse!

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Go Chiefs!! 🏈 and also, #MakeSpaceForWomen

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

#chipotle ❤️

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

#NorwegiansSummerFridays

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

@TheEllenShow - Happy Birthday Ellen! #ellenbirthdayswag 🎁 You are the best!

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Literally almost spilled my beer on my kindergartener's homework. #whoops #momlife #momfail #butnotquite #phew #justonebeercanbetrouble

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

If your last name is Gore but you pronounce it "Gou-ray," I already don't like you.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

People who like their own Facebook posts. Why? Discuss. #why

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Literally would give two of my lesser-used fingers for some chap stick right now.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

True confession: the buttons on my work phone stick because I dropped sweet potato on them.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Not being able to belt Bohemian Rhapsody on a hotel shuttle is akin to holding in all your farts and sneezes for a year.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

A nice sunset on the wing.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Man in first class wearing sunglasses- you better have just had your pupils dilated or else you're just a giant douche.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Man blasting "The End of the World As We Know It" by REM on your phone in the boarding area of the airport, PICK ANOTHER SONG! #nervousflyer

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Positively giddy to be in the airport & not be the mom with the screaming baby. Don't even mind the screaming when it's not mine. #momlife

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Literally said to my male coworker "you never know what you'll find in my drawers!" #face palm to infinity! #facepalm #why #whyme #awkward

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Is it worse, when you feel something crawling on your arm in the dark in bed, to find the thing, or not? #cantfindit #ghostbug #nosleep

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

Hubs to 5yo: I have a surprise for you.
(Wants to take him to a movie)
5: whatisitwhatisit! I have to know!
(Gasps) IS IT A NEW CAR?

Bless.

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

I sure hope my 2yr old's "tr" sound comes in soon. Her yelling TRUCK with an F is gonna get us in trouble. #momlife #embarrassing

[Mary Ann Turner @Lustumar]

You know you live in GA when a thread on your neighborhood message board is titled "illegal dumping of hog carcasses." #what #why #helpme