LuteEmper

[Ganesha 🇩🇪🇮🇳 @DerGanesha]

Wie würde die Presse reagieren?

Ein AfD-Wähler fährt ins Migrantenheim und ersch*** sechs Flüchtlingsberater.

Draußen wartet eine Mitarbeiterin der Erasmus-Stiftung mit einem Fluchtauto, das auf einen AfD-Politiker angemeldet ist.

Der AfD-Politiker hat Steuergelder umgeleitet und über Querfinanzierung erhalten die Junge Freiheit und der Deutschland Kurier Geld.

Derselbe AfD-Wähler hat schon in seinem Herkunftsland Polen Migrantenheime angegriffen.

Das von Steuergeld bezahlte Auto hat als Nummernschild 30.1.33.

Na, meint ihr, die Medien wären fair? #Stade

[MT aus HB | AG Enbys in der AfD @mtaushb]

"In Stade war sie aber privat."

[Colin Millar @Millar_Colin]

None of the World Cup winners from 2006 (Italy), 2010 (Spain) and 2014 (Germany) have won a knockout match since winning the competition. A combined 11 World Cups since for them.

[LuteEmper @LuteEmper]

@Gazpachen Perfekte Zusammenfassung, danke.

[José I. Araoz @Gazpachen]

Alemania juega sin entrenador y así es imposible.

Pavlovic no está bien. Kimmich no es lateral. Havertz está pidiendo a gritos dejar el XI titular. Wirtz no hace una jugada bien. Leroy Sané no es ni un futbolista profesional...

Y lo único que hace su entrenador es repetir una y otra vez lo mismo. Es un desastre total Alemania. No tiene ni una mínima idea de como crear una jugada de peligro.

[i2cjak @i2cjak]

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.

[Anna @knalltueten_ag1]

Mein Mann und meine Söhne sind wertvoller als ein Smartphone, so wertvoll wie ein Tablet.

Um sie vor wolllüstigen Blicken anderer Frauen und Mädchen zu schützen und unsere Familienehre zu bewahren, haben wir, also ich, entschieden, dass sie sich nun immer bedecken müssen.

Respektiert das.

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

As a school bus driver I have to say it makes my job much more manageable.

[Edward Feser @FeserEdward]

"He causes the grass to grow for the cattle, and vegetation for the labor of mankind, so that they may produce food from the earth, and wine, which makes a human heart cheerful" (Psalm 104:14-15)

[The Dank Knight 🦇 @capeandcowell]

Two days past summer solstice. Already lost two minutes of daylight. It’s basically fall now. Might as well decorate for Christmas.

[J. "Lesley" Sakroc @lesthecroc]

And you can have it all
My empire of dirt

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

"I have accepted Keir Starmer's resignation as my chief servant and have invited Andy Burnham to lay out details for how many meals a day he'll give me"

[Chris Rea @chrisreamusic]

"Josephine, I'll send you all my love
And every single step I take
Oh, I take for you"
Chris released 'Josephine' on this day in 1985.

[Taylor Monroe @TaylorMonr85964]

@Clint_Davey1 Crete is such a good npc-test. It's an obvious German victory - outnumber 2:1, inflict 4:1 causalities, seize strategic island - but instead of accepting that you lemmings just regurgitate the same tired narrative easily traced back to disgraced historian B Hart. Yawn

[Dr. Scheil - Historiker und Publizist @ScheilDr]

Mitten im Frieden 1914...

"Drei Tage vor Kriegsausbruch wurde im französischen Parlament eine Resolution eingebracht und noch am gleichen Tag durchgewunken, die 25.000.000 Francs für ein 'Haus der Presse' bewilligte. Dieses Haus der Presse war ein Gebäude mit zweihundert Zimmern, in Rue Francois Nr. 3, fünf Stock hoch, in dem Kriegsneuigkeiten verbreitet, Propaganda fabriziert, Fotographien mit gut gezeichneten Grausamkeiten gemacht wurden, um die Verdorbenheit der Deutschen zu beweisen, wo also die üblichen Kriegslügen zirkulierten.

Es gab achtzig Angestellte, die das – ganz umsonst – an die Auslandspresse vermittelten, und übersetzt in achtzehn verschiedene Sprachen der zivilisierten Welt kursierten dann Geschichten über französische Siege und die selbst gemalten Grausamkeiten der 'Hunnen' und 'Boches'. Von hier aus wurden die liebenswürdigen Geschichten über die Deutschen verteilt, die Kinderhände abhackten, Gefangene kreuzigten oder die eigenen Toten auskochten, um Fett zu gewinnen."
https://t.co/AOKzmy4Vw8

[@olliek.bsky.social @Olliek74]

A yank, seeing foreign football fans having fun doing things they do at every World Cup:

'Isn't the US uniquely wonderful?'

The yank mind cannot comprehend the existence of other cultures

[Brian Ross @brewmeone]

Australians watching their team go down 0-2 to Team USA…

[NotKennyRogers @NotKennyRogers]

There are currently 190,000 children in Chicago living below the poverty level.

For the price of the $900 million Obama library, we could have given each one of these poor children in Chicago $4,736.

Am I doing this right?

[Olympique Marcel @MarcelLindenau]

Dear Mister @realDonaldTrump

Why is the next WM game erst um 21 Uhr? Here in germany is top Wetter and we are all arbeitslos, so please make WM spiele um 16 Uhr great again so we can have lecker Bierchen in the Biergarten and watch Fußball das geile Stück Fleisch

Thank you

[Gelbfrucht @Gelbfrucht]

War gerade mit dem Fahrrad unterwegs.

Schulschluss.
Kleinstadt in NRW (ca. 30k Einwohner)
Die ganze Schule kam mir entgegen.

Ich sage mal so.

Der Drops ist gelutscht.