Meat Mode FC

Cheltenham Powerplay (All Saints) Premier League. Looks like meat’s back on the menu boys🤨

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

@ZachSMartin in the walls

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🚨 TEAM NEWS:

Bat Soup infects the squad amid the coronavirus pandemic. Meat Daddy and Portuguese Breakfast are in quarantine - not because of the virus - they’re just too dangerous to release.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

FULL TIME: MEAT MODE 0-4 DLR OLD BOYS

and Bernard Matthews is not happy

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🚨 TEAM NEWS:

Salami Slap is back from his 2 week self isolation and his right arm is massive. Beefloaf and Piemimister return to the side for tonight’s clash against the champions.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

but we’re still due to equal our attendance record👏🏻

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

❌ Tomorrow evening’s game against DLR Old Boys will be played behind closed doors.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🚨 Salami Slap, Pieminister and Beefloaf will not be available for Thursdays squad as they’ll be at Old Trafford instead.

They’ll be called onto the pitch at HT for a Barcelona-esque player unveiling. Old Trafford are in for a treat as Beefloaf can perform up to 5 kick ups

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

FULL TIME: MEAT MODE 6-2 GOALS INSURED

Good game from tonight’s opposition so hopefully their policy covers getting bent over and meat slapped. More goals from Salami Slap (4) and Hamez (2) get the boys back on track💥

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🚨 TEAM NEWS:

It’s the Insurance derby and therefore a hugely important game for our global fan base - we hope that Goals Insured have enough capital capacity to cope with the loss we’ll inflict upon them tonight.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

⚡️Meatball Marinara has demanded to be recalled from his loan spell in the Chinese Super League because he doesn’t trust them.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🚨 Tonight’s team news is in!

Meat Daddy accompanies Spit Roast in defence in place of Beefloaf, who refuses to start himself because he is “too scared”.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🗣 The gaffer commented on our goalkeeping situation moments ago...

“Contrary to reports in the media, there is no beef between myself and #BernardMatthews and I deny the allegations that he’s been carved out of the squad”.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

still stands

[George Lines @Georgeyrocks]

Remains the best 5-a-side keeper in Cheltenham...... If not the world...... True story!!!!!

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

big up #Hamez with the brace⚡️

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

FULL TIME: MEAT MODE 2-2 DAD’S ARMY

A big effort from the lads as we come from 2-0 down to earn a point #MeatMentality😤

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🚨 The line-up is in:

#PortugueseBreakfast makes his debut in goal and #MeatDaddy returns to the line up in place of #SpitRoast who despite not playing will busy at both ends.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

#WelcomePortugueseBreakfast

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

🤝 DONE DEAL: Meat Mode can officially confirm the transfer of #PortugueseBreakfast, who has recently come out of retirement.

The goalkeeper has agreed to a loan move with the option to buy at the end of the season.

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

The boss @BeefLoafGaffer and our Cheltenham Division One trophy - name a better duo😤

[Meat Mode FC @MEAT_MODE]

what the fuck is Peter Odemwingie doing at our training ground?