Markus @MEhrlick - Twitter Profile

Dear Mark Carney, I just wanted to extend a heartfelt thank you for completely solving the housing crisis. It’s incredible. Studio apartments are now only $3,000 a month, bedrooms in someone’s basement are a steal at $1,850, and a modest one-bedroom is a jaw-dropping bargain at $3,700. Truly affordable living. I especially appreciate how owning a home now only requires a $180,000 down payment and a small, manageable $4,900/month mortgage. Homeownership has never been more within reach. 🏡✨ Also, thank you for fixing the cost of living. Groceries are unbelievably cheap now. Eggs at $9.49, butter at $8.99, ground beef casually hovering around $14/lb — honestly, I’m saving so much money I don’t even know what to do with it. I went in for milk and bread and only spent $97, which is basically nothing these days. What a time to be alive. 🛒💸 The tax relief has been phenomenal too. Keeping almost half of my paycheck is just incredible. I absolutely love watching 40–50% disappear before I even see it — it really builds character. Nothing says financial freedom like calculating whether you can afford both rent and food in the same month. Taxes have truly never felt lower. 📉😂 And the safety improvements — wow. Streets have never been calmer. You can now confidently walk past open-air drug use, random screaming matches, and bike chop shops knowing everything is totally under control. The fentanyl crisis? Basically solved. The homelessness crisis? Completely handled. There are only rows and rows of tents, which is obviously just modern minimalist housing. 🚨🏙️ The crime situation has also improved dramatically. Nothing reassures citizens more than seeing repeat offenders released faster than a drive-thru order. It really keeps things exciting. Who doesn’t love a little unpredictability on their commute? Keeps the adrenaline pumping. 🔁😌 And finally, thank you for making life in general so affordable. Gas hovering around $1.80–$2.10/L, insurance climbing, utilities up 30–40%, and somehow everyone still expected to smile and say “things are improving.” The financial gymnastics required just to exist are truly inspiring. ⛽💀 From the bottom of all Canadians’ hearts, thank you for this stunning 180. Housing has never been more affordable, groceries have never been cheaper, taxes have never been lower, and the streets have never been safer. Everything is perfect. Absolutely flawless. No notes. 🇨🇦👏 Warmest regards, A financially thriving Canadian P.S. If you could also fix interest rates, rent, groceries, crime, healthcare wait times, and wages — but like, don’t rush. You’ve already done so much.

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