She's toxic right? But was she toxic before you lied to her about another woman? Was she toxic before you took advantage of the trust she had for you? Was she toxic before she kept forgiving you for hurting her over and over? She wasn't toxic.
it's the growth that you made this year that no one was able to see. that inner growth, that learn to love yourself, think better thoughts, be a better type of growth. the growth that no one clapped for, that was the real growth
a simple technique i began using to reflect upon my friendships & relationships was asking myself "does the bond i have with this person strengthen me?" whether that person provides laughter, fun or kindness. do i feel mostly energized by what i share with them or mostly drained?
I begged a dude for 3 years to get his act right and it seemed like the more I begged the worse he got. The more I cried the less he cared! The more I gave the more he took! The more I did the less he saw!! I was mentally, physically & emotionally drained. I finally left not because I didn't love him anymore but because I couldn't love him anymore. It was so unhealthy I was not wanting to live anymore. I saw a post that said “You either gonna keep letting him hurt you or love yourself enough to move on!” Finally I remembered the hurt I felt. I remembered crying begging for him to love me. I remembered endless nights I didn't sleep, I barely ate. I remember lying to everyone, about every time he broke my heart. I remember everything that man did to me that made me feel less of a woman and at that moment was when I knew I was really done. We try so hard to forget the hurt in our heads but our hearts never do no matter how much we forgive. Stop forgetting & remember because love shouldn't hurt. 💯
the older you get, the more you choose calm over conflict and distance over disrespect. Drama becomes intolerable to you and your peace becomes your ultimate priority. You start surrounding yourself with people who are good for your mental health, heart and soul.