Meghan_thee_Scallion

Welcome to my brain

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

We are truly between Barack and a hard place

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Excuse me but why *the fuck* do airport bathroom doors open inward???

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Mahomes is trying so hard to be Steph Curry chewing the fuck out of his mouth guard

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Para- para- paranoid or whatever Coldplay said

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Petition to ban bolo ties 2024

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

It’s giving Thanks

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

If anyone was wondering if August slipped away into a moment in time just ask every single girl on Instagram posting an August dump

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Dale finally put his foot down and told me I’m spending way too much money…

…on cheese

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Picture this: It’s March 15th, Caesar and Brutus are out for a steak dinner.

Caesar helps himself to some A1 sauce, turns to Brutus and asks, “A2?”

….Brutus stabs Caesar with his steak knife because no one ruins a perfectly good steak with A1.

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

@buitengebieden @Dalebarton4

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

“This is the finale for sure” - me every five seconds throughout a fireworks display

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Panic! at the Disc Golf

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

@FIFAWorldCup @Dalebarton4

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

One eyed, one horned, flyin purple people pleaser 🙋🏼‍♀️

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Anybody gonna address the fact that “ham”burgers are actually made of beef?

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

I swear the seagull soundbyte in Netflix shows is the same as the one at the beginning of Spongebob Squarepants

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Super Bowl peaked at half time tell me I’m wrong

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

You guys, I just found out kids don’t have snow days anymore because they can just do virtual learning instead and honestly it was soul crushing

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

Getting some serious Coach Beard vibes from the TVCC assistant coach on Cheer

[Meghan_thee_Scallion @MP_Hammer5]

A great extreme sport is trying to twisty-tie a bag of tortilla chips closed with one hand full of tortilla chips