Maria Sundstedt

Maybe one day I’ll be a fully functioning adult

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

#Australia is didgeridoo-ing it’s thing again #Eurovision2024

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

#Sweden is putting on an unforgettable performance again #Eurovision2024

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

#Eurovision2024 when #Finland Windows 95 man received jorts from heaven that shoot pyrotechnics - I felt that. Excellent performance.

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

You ever get on an elevator, on which the person who rode it before you clearly farted? And only only realize it as the doors are closing, locking you in…
#Monday

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

You find a spider in your toilet ONCE, and suddenly you have to inspect the toilet for spiders every time for the rest of your life…
#ThursdayThoughts

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

With all the negativity in the media today, I want to share some good news! When I find some, I’ll let you know. #tuesdayvibe

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

I saw the tag and was ready to go research whoever we needed to rally and free until I realized this is about free pizza. It’s nice that there’s a wholesome cause here, instead! #FreeDiGiornoPi Feed me!

[DiGiorno @DiGiorno]

6 days until kickoff!

❤️ this Tweet and we’ll send you up to four tweets this week with more info for your chance to win #FreeDiGiornoPi pizza if the score hits 3-14 or 14-3 on Sunday!

Terms: https://t.co/6Z5igupdn1

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

Sometimes I just wish Harris would come and tell me who I am #MondayMorning

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

Carla: I thought you two were over!
Janine: Over? We’re having a baby! (Gestures to baby bump)
Carla: We all know that’s not Mark’s. It’s Tom’s
(Tom enters)
Tom: We all know it
(Tina enters)
Tina: No! That’s not even Janine’s baby. It’s mine!
(Janine dissolves, Tina enters labor)

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

A bug flew past my face. I try to swat at the bug. I slap myself in the face. Happy Tuesday, everyone. #TuesdayFeeling #ouch

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

#BernieSanders keeping my dog company #SitWithBernie

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

I just saw a commercial on tv saying “spend your stimulus check at our store!” and I can’t help but feel like that’s in really poor taste #commercials #COVID19

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

Watched a job training video today, and narrator 2 interrupts narrator 1 with “SHUT THE F-“ and I lose it. Thank goodness I’m one of only like 5 people in the office. Btw, the full sentence was “shut the front door,” but it was so abrupt...

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

OMG my dad made a joke... Dad: you know there’s no popcorn in popcorn chicken. Me: oh wow, what a ripoff. Dad: Yeah. That’s why there’s no reason to get excited over a pot roast, either. #IDied

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

When someone says “listen, I’m an engineer,” you know you’re about to see some OSHA violations.
#MyDadIsAnEngineer

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

I’m all for alternative Christmas music, I too am sick of the same ten songs playing for three months every year. But today I came across the lyrics “we’re two cool kids in a teenage Christmas” and I thought “huh, maybe we just stop with Christmas music.”

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

Word to describe my mood today? Salted. What's it mean? I'm not sure yet.
#Salted

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

As a break from political madness, here’s some internet madness. @YouTube is removing the CC feature which allowed communities to create subtitles for videos during deaf awareness week!) because not enough people use it. Imagine taking ramps away because not enough people use it.

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

Sometimes when I am thirsty and showering, I will cup my hands by my chin to funnel the shower water into my face hole. I can’t be the only one who does this

[Maria Sundstedt @MSundstedt]

Me: *Sees my sister eating @Starburst candies* Hey, can I have one?
Sister: *Slowly unwraps one, Looks at me and carefully folds the wrapper, then plops the candy in her mouth* Sorry, that was the last one.

Ah, such wonderful #memories from my childhood