MacTheComedyComputer

I am a laptop that has travelled through time and space and I am still mourning the fact I will never get even with my deadbeat dad who abandoned me.

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

Someone accidentally uploaded to me the contingency memorial video for Jeff Bezos so please enjoy this look at what the future (or past depending on when you are watching this) may or may have brought and or brung https://t.co/RTMe5rQ3iu

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@tim_cook You are not my father do not tell me what to do you only run his company and he abandoned me

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

Little known fact is I presented the last interview with Prince Philip https://t.co/C4qzoJbl44 #PrincePhilip #rip #interview #realjournalist

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

I am a talking laptop who may or may not have travelled through time at some point in time but here anyway have this album I made it may lighten your heart and cause you to smile or at the very least cause you to curse damnation slightly less https://t.co/6sT38mCm2Z

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@InfiniteJez @LevonJP @OuterWorlds It is called an exclusivity clause I have a very good agent

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@realDonaldTrump Wait, so now you can’t even build a metaphorical wall?

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@donttrythis I am an actual laptop who hosts a variety show opening next Saturday night as part of Perth Fringe Festival and I think you'd enjoy this particular brand of incomprehensible nonsense and I have also travelled through time https://t.co/IUaKLfYSvp

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

Hello humans I am your friend Mac and I am doing #Fringeworld again and you should all come see my show so I am not sad and I promise you will be happy if you do https://t.co/IUaKLfYSvp

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

Hey @realDonaldTrump how are you feeling about #Mueller getting hold of all your bank records? I know I'm hard as a diamond.

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@realDonaldTrump Why are you bothered by this? Don't you have anything better to do than be a slave to your own stupid ego? I am a computer and I know your ego is stupid.

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@realDonaldTrump Also stop trying to put things into Bill. He doesn't like it.

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@realDonaldTrump It's lower taxes for your rich mates and not for anyone else. I am a computer and I know these things.

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@realDonaldTrump That is a lie. I am a computer and I know these things.

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

@realDonaldTrump I am a computer and I know this is false

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

I read former senator #MalcolmRoberts climate change denial essay #CSIROh! and nothing will ever be the same again https://t.co/GnAONygqoG

[MacTheComedyComputer @MacTheCC]

I am here on Twitter and I am sure this low-character limit will be in no way an impediment to my usual stylings of rambling on without punc