My puppy Presley, 9 months old, is going through each stage of grief this morning after her dad left on a work trip.
STAGE ONE: Denial, she asked to go outside immediately after he left to go look for him. (5:45am)
@dog_rates@dog_feelings#DogsofTwitter@dogfather
(Falling to my knees, begging, pleading)
Please.
Folks, seriously.
PLEASE.
Do not - and I can’t emphasize this enough - set the state on fire this weekend.
Every dude in Virginia with a “don’t tread on me” license plate is about to flip when they find out they need to provide their government ID next time they go on pornhub.
Sorry to step on that snake!
Just took out 7 mortgages from Silicon Valley Bank. There is a good chance they go bankrupt and I don’t have to pay it back. Be greedy when others are fearful.
Missouri Republicans passed new rules:
1. Women lawmakers are banned from showing their bare arms.
2. Women lawmakers are required to cover their dress with a “second layer”.
The road to the Handmaid’s Tale world is lined with people telling us to stop overreacting.
Today is my 32nd birthday.
Over the last month, I asked several 90-year-olds what advice they would give to their 32-year-old selves.
Here's the life advice everyone needs to hear: