slope shark

do you wanna bone her? yes probably but bring tommy

[nate @homoclassical]

Miranda: The shooter did what he had to do to fight against a corrupt system...
Charlotte: But how can you think (whispers) *shooting* someone is right?
Samantha: Honey, he could shoot inside me anytime he wanted!
Carrie: Big is moving to Paris.

[Sorcha Ní Nia @Luiseach]

ok so for a fairly grubby person myself I’ve become obsessed with ‘deep cleaning’ videos on TikTok and was having a grand old time scrolling when all of a sudden this one BAM and I can’t breathe LMAO

[hoops @itsmatthooper]

tactical voting is not tactical voting if what you're voting for is the same as what you're voting against

[౨ৎ @rhaenyrasrealm]

😭😭

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

oh, we’re just gonna “play it by ear?” [starts sweating] we aren’t making a reservation? [gnawing at fingernails] oh, we don’t even have a restaurant picked out? or a general time? we’re just gonna “see what the vibe is” day of? [begins bashing head into wall] no, im chill :)

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

actually few things more embarrassing than when you’ve had like One drink and then you trip or spill something and everyone’s like damnnn she must be fucked up! no, you degenerates. I am just clumsy! may a beautiful woman not simply be clumsy these days???

[trash jones @jzux]

spring pros: pretty much everything

spring cons: becoming harder to enjoy soup

[Adam Gilbert @AdamGilbert__]

the other toes that didn’t get stubbed

[Gerry McBride @GerryMcBride]

So fer pre's tonight, let me show ya wat we're drrrinkan

[slope shark @Mackinnon_enya]

Tik tok is the modern day Harry hill tv burp x

[lucy ford 🍊 @lucyj_ford]

can’t stop watching this aggressively french reaction to a cat stealing some quiche 😭 “MA QUICHE”

[ieatstaples @ieatstaples]

Pepito is back home (for spoopy season) @PepitoTheCat @poorlycatdraw

[tori @doritenholm]

me when any of my friends do anything

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

‘SELLING SUNSET’ returns November 3 on Netflix.

[jocelyn romo @theeroamer]

how my british folk rock records look at me the moment it becomes autumn