meowmix420

Moved to PHX from Genovia some time ago. Unanimated, but having a good time.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

Underage coworker just gave me advice on how to nurse my hangover.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

@maxberry1998 Complaining about being dehumanized when you dehumanized a group of professional attendants and didn’t care about the entirety of passengers on the plane. You did not act like a human on this flight. You were clearly intoxicated beyond a level at which you could control yourself.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

@mamsarinos “Thanks, dude. You’re making me look like an idiot over here, which is as unladylike as it comes. Move your ass!”

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

I accidentally dropped the ‘s’ in “Best,” in my email signature, but idk. I kinda like the sound of it.

“Thanks, Cindy. We will circle back on this next week. Bet, Alex”

Kind of badass. Dominant.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

Gabby thought the Facebook search bar was also the “what’s on your mind?” bar and just posted the name of a guy we haven’t talked to in over 10 years.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

I really cherish these moments in my life. The ones where I turn to my cats and say aloud, “don’t worry, I’ll get it.” Whether it be the door, the volume, the timer, etc.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

@HOTTAMALESBrand needs to come out with Heart Tamales on Vday. For those of us whose love ain’t sweet. spicy, fiery, passionate. Heart tamales, in stores 2022.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

Some days you’re just not productive for the last 5 years and that’s ok

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

@KSASMROFFICIAL @jennajameson @CapBailey This whole deleted tweets thing was proven untrue.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

There should be a political debate show called No Yelling!, where people from opposing sides of the same topic have to talk calmly about their views and every time they raise their voice, a buzzer goes off and they have to stop talking.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

“I have to go, I have to take my shoes off, I have to go to sleep, I have to walk my goldfish - He’s desperate for a walk right now - I just need to go.”

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

Someone ate Panda Express on my flight tonight.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

14 year old @PopdogTrul flirting with the older boy working at the Safeway Starbucks. Who has brown teeth.

pulling at the strands of her ponytail, braces firmly intact.

“Can I have a huma-cino? You in a cup.”

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

Cam: “Their pepperoni one is good. So is their grape balsamic one.”

Me: “Let’s get both and share.”

Cam:”uhh I want the margarita one.”

Me:”why don’t you ever want to share with me?”

Cam:”I’m not hungry anymore.”

Is Hell just reliving the torture you brought on yourself?

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

“I love a good dick, but please don’t send me a pic of it flaccid and please don’t send a pic at all unless I specifically say ‘I love you.’”

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

@StephenCurry30 Keep your mouth guard in your mouth! It’s flu season!!

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

Cameron woke me up and asked me to take this picture of him for @GabbyQuersin and then opened the blinds and made me take more and then suggested I didn’t do a good job.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

An adult male who regularly comes into my work won’t use mental utensils and demands plastic because he doesn’t like the taste of metal.

[meowmix420 @MadamShea]

Gimme those 16 digits, exp and ccv boo 💕

[chris @yunglame]

wanted to make a Triller but only been bumpin podcasts lately

[jay alcohola @pregnant_pooper]

My girlfriend walking up to the car door 1 second before I unlock it