Maggie Machado

I manage a military spouse blog (How to MilSpouse) and a freelance content development company (The Text Effect, LLC).

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

This. But replace “so tired” with “so pregnant.”

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

@AdobeSpark what happened to the featured graphics?

[Billy Jensen @Billyjensen]

As we all binge The Bundy Tapes on @Netflix and share the trailer for the Zac Efron movie, please remember the victims. These women all had hopes and dreams. They should all have movies made about them. I always try to remember what these monsters took away. #TedBundyTapes

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

@lasabrareads EXACTLY

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

@Paulsaysthought Guardians all the way.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

[After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory]
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to—
ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

@kristen_j_

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

@belatibus Stop being a rebel for just like one second

[Anna Drezen @annadrezen]

Things I did say out loud during my first ever Brazilian:
- “This is so bad”
- “Is my legs gone?”
- “Yeah, vacation is nice to go on vacation”
- “Where did you put my asshole?”
- “Mister Christ”

[Jill Gutowitz @jillboard]

wait wtf should i go to coachella this year

[K.Flay @kflay]

my new year’s resolution

1920 x 1080

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

@kristen_j_ Wow. All I did was eat tortillas and try to find at least one pair of matching socks.

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

I felt this.

[Chelsea Peretti @chelseaperetti]

Should i be concerned if people are always like “You look comfortable”

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

So sad that in just a few days bread and dessert will have calories again.

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

Favorite part of Christmas: watching my mom try to figure out how to use her Echo. She keeps shouting Siri. I’ll tell her it’s Alexa before we leave I swear.

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

Got Girl Wash Your Face for Christmas. 2 pages in and I’ve already spilled both Bloody Mary mix and whipped cream on it. Feels fitting. @msrachelhollis

[Maggie Machado @MaggieMachado]

If you’re home for the holidays and your midwestern mother hasn’t aggressively offered you bruschetta as a “little snack,” is she even your midwestern mother?

[Jackie Zebrowski @jacktheworm]

Ran out of milk and legitimately considered using Rumchata in my mac n cheese. WHO SAYS WEDNESDAYS AREN’T FOR LIVING DANGEROUSLY?

[billy eichner @billyeichner]

It's the Billy on the Street AMY POEHLER CHRISTMAS CAROL AMBUSH!!! A HOLIDAY CLASSIC!!!