Major Trouble

Existential life advice from your friendly neighbourhood cryptid.

[Major Trouble @MajorZombieGod]

This isn't my happy ending
by MajorTrouble - Multifandom https://t.co/Ctao9avkFZ via @ao3org
@SamMaggs @PatrickWeekes #GISH

[Wizard Cal 🕯️✨ @MageOfSolitude]

No casual dating for me, only fancy dating where we start the evening with a waltz at a masquerade ball and end it with a challenge to duel at dawn

[Major Trouble @MajorZombieGod]

Be the existential dread you want to see in the world.

[Major Trouble @MajorZombieGod]

It's approaching Halloween. Time to dress as the best version of yourself. Except, you know, covered in blood.

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

the villagers: don't go to dracula's castle

jonathan harker: sorry I didn't quite catch that

the villagers: he's evil

jonathan harker: that could mean anything

the villagers: he will kill you

jonathan harker: hmmm. anyway here I go

[Wizard Cal 🕯️✨ @MageOfSolitude]

I have such mixed feelings today. On the upside, it's October. On the downside, I did not wake up as a crow in a deep dark forest on the edge of a mysterious old village.

[Major Trouble @MajorZombieGod]

A wise person once said, "Arson is a trust exercise."

[Major Trouble @MajorZombieGod]

Pro tip: keeping all the lights on doesn't stop the shadow people from infiltrating your house, but it does drive up your electricity bill. Be power conscious!

[Major Trouble @MajorZombieGod]

There's a certain kind of magic to be found in the pauses between words. Measure them carefully and you can make people believe anything. Also, don't forget to take your meds.

[Wizard Cal 🕯️✨ @MageOfSolitude]

Eagerly awaiting autumn, since wandering into a deep forest as mist curls at my feet and the moon stares hauntingly through the branches and an owl laments a future I can't yet see as I pass it by and no one hears from me again just doesn't have the right vibe when it's hot out

[Team Vampirates @TeamVampirates]

Taking out the trash, here's Waste Collector Barbie 💖 (also known as Garbageman, Trashman USA, Dustman or Binman, UK) #GISH @Mattel #DirtyJobs4Barbie

[Juno @slater_jody]

Mystic pizza for tea! #GISH @annabethgish

[Team Vampirates @TeamVampirates]

Rhinos are critically endangered but you can help! https://t.co/XxiLMVKv1W Support rhino conservation efforts! #SavetheRhino #GISH