Malia

RN| UNH Alum| NH

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

When I was a kid, bedtime was 9 pm. I couldn't wait to be a grownup so I could go to bed anytime I wanted.

Turns out that is 9 pm.

[Malia @Malia_DeLorme]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 11 years, since 28 Jun 2011 (via @twi_age).

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

why is sleeping at night so hard but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft fluffy cloud while adele sings you a lullaby

[Kevin DeShazo @KevinDeShazo]

You can’t say you want to get better, then consistently choose the path of comfort and convenience.

You can say what you value, but your habits show what you value.

[Malia @Malia_DeLorme]

🤢🤢

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Covid has more rights in Texas than women

[Malia @Malia_DeLorme]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 10 years, since 28 Jun 2011 (via @twi_age).

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

I don't want to work 5 days a week and figure out what to cook for dinner everyday I want to lie on a rock in the sun like a lizard

[Luka Donthičć @landahoy14]

how it started: how it’s going:

[prance @bocxtop]

americans are so fucking self centered they think a disease the entire world is taking seriously was invented by secret leaders in their government for the sole purpose of keeping them from yelling at workers in stores and spitting on each other in bars

[Myles Snowden @airbustasnow]

my face when they point the temperature gun at me to take my temperature.....

[Apex Ricki @plantphotomami]

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON...HER SISTER WAS A WITCH RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO. YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, DOUG. GROW UP BRO, GROW UP.

[cal? @cal_gif]

“you changed” yea dude I left our hometown

[Malia @Malia_DeLorme]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 9 years, since 28 Jun 2011 (via @twi_age).

[Malia @Malia_DeLorme]

@k_lentilsoup @VancityReynolds This is why you’re my favorite ❤️❤️

[Malia @Malia_DeLorme]

Josh asked if we could go to Washington DC and to the museums for his birthday instead of having a party or going to the bars. At that moment, I realized I’ve found my soulmate

[maybe: clare @clur19]

Just found out that I’m gonna have to try going gluten free for health reasons and like what the hell kind of alcohol do I drink?

[🥀 Audree 🥀 @DarlinSincerest]

This may upset some more “traditional” people but I think you should live together before you get married. There is a whole different dynamic in your relationship when you actually live together vs when you have your own places and choose to sleep over a lot.

[Malia @Malia_DeLorme]

@klent_ It was me in disguise 😎😎

[Ben @bnegan7]

A video you never thought you needed til now. Aristocats v Lizzo. 🙌🏻