Mallory Grace

English airquote teacher. Loveable cramp.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

haha this is why you shouldn't stop returning a guy's calls ESPECIALLY after he cheats on you a bunch of times

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

hahahaha I got hepatitis

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Oh, wait. She wants me to double-team her with her boyfriend... I'll pass. Fuck.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Man, I have been almost monogamous for a couple of weeks. What the fuck. Just got a kinky proposition email though so let's work on that.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Oh wow, hemorrhoid is only one character in Chinese. 痔.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Oh shit, I missed. And there's blood.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

peppermint essence on your cock. not recommended.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

I should write a tutorial on how to get laid using UNO. I think I've pretty much got it down to a science.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Oh yeah so now that she's HOME you want to come over, Hot/cold you rubber band bitch.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Had a few other girls this week too. All pretty good, but I'm kind of disappointed. Hot/cold and another ex both turned down my booty calls.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

She came back and stayed the night and it was actually not bad apart from her sucking in bed and my favourite positions being IMPOSSIBLE.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

My chubby cherry is still intact. But we still made out for a while and felt each other up on the couch. It would've been rude not to.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Some 21-year-old that I don't know messaged me out of nowhere last night and wanted to meet up. Naturally she turned out to be a fatty.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Main Girl's out of town. So fucking bored. I didn't realise how much of my day was sex. Time to pull out the little black book.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

What are those big gas box things called that you find in university laboratories? Yeah. Because I just scored in one.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

http://twitpic.com/cun92 - Latest purchase. Fucking awesome or what:

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Also, fucked Main girl in a big dark pool watched by three lifeguards, broad daylight. I didn't know someone could get so wet UNDERWATER.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Spent today at a water park. Got a good long look at my hot student's bare tits twice due to wardrobe malfunctions.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

I'm stealing wifi from Amway and it feels good.

[Mallory Grace @Mallorg]

Well. Huh. That was awesome. I was kind of expecting something horribly fucked-up or awkward to happen.