Manchester Shitport

One man's mission to understand why Manchester Airport is only ranked the 6th worst in the world.

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

As part of our £1bn transformation package we have updated the signage in our Terminal 1 Security check areas.

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

@Alexander_1688 @TLDRNewsUK T3 reppin as the turd circle of stag do hell

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

PSA:

Passengers are limited to 50ml of saliva each, which must be kept in a sealed plastic container.

Socks must go with shoes through scanners, unless you have those little ankle socks, in which case you must go home.

Airpods must go in separate trays.

[Gary Neville @GNev2]

Manchester I love you , but the airport 🤦🏻

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

How much people will pay to avoid T1 security queues.

[Andy Burnham @andyburnham]

Return tickets from Manchester:

▪️India £343

▪️Jamaica £345

▪️Brazil £325

▪️Ivory Coast £319

▪️London (rail) £369

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

Fresh air is available from our vending machines at £5 per cubic metre.

[The Mirror @DailyMirror]

Ryanair passengers at Manchester Airport sandwiched with 'no ventilation'
https://t.co/ycXvlTQM9u

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

Terry Tibbs. Talk to me.

[Manchester Airport @manairport]

A message from Manchester Airports Group CEO, Charlie Cornish: https://t.co/CHOb2Fe1EZ

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

I have instructed our lawyers to sue for libel. Survey data shows our airport is only a hellscape for 97% of passengers.

P.s Why Is Every Word Capitalised?

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

The Manchester Airport In The UK Has Turned Into Every Travelers Hellscape With Over Three Hour Security Lines And Tons of Bag Being Abandoned At Baggage Claim Because of Insane Wait Times https://t.co/x9dzspg80R

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

I take no responsibility

[The Independent @Independent]

🚨 Manchester Airport boss quits after delays and disruption cause 'chaos'
https://t.co/JfCuul9xpg

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Luggage at Manchester Airport overtakes Sue Gray report as most anticipated thing of 2022.

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

@AusterityAirli1 Thank you for your honesty. You've just been placed on a watchlist of passengers suspected of dodging pick-up/drop off fees.

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

Unsustainably pleasant. Statistics show stressed passengers spend 73% more money in airport lounges*

*not necessarily suitable for lounging

[Paul Lancaster @lancs7]

Manchester Airport Terminal 2 this morning. @jet2tweets bag drop off amazingly efficient, about 5 minutes. Then about 90 mins to get through security, no not bad. Every trying their best - it’s not as bad as you’d imagine 😀

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

I really should resurrect this account...

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

@SimpsonsCricket

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

As we can no longer rely on our national government and our city mayor is towing the Barnard Castle line, we as an airport group just look to a new figure for leadership in these trying times. OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

Despite local lockdown, we at Manchester Shitport are still #open and here to greet you with a smile while you queue!

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

Ah think thus a bug going round

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

@MaxAlexander93 @murphaloid Nude. Heh heh heh.

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

@jackoinuk @BorisJohnson Get there 5 hours before your flight takes off.

[Manchester Shitport @ManShitport]

Lads, be safe. Always double bag.