Hannah☾Simons

[ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʟ, ᴅᴀᴋᴏᴛᴀ @DEEP_RED_BELLS]

this image is going to be an all-timer, invest early

[Maia @maiamindel]

By far the worst "woke" term is unhoused because it doesn't even mean something different to homeless or have a different tone. If it's not more polite *or* more informative... then what is it for

[Hannah☾Simons @ManVoiceMin45]

@JennMGreenberg I hate to put this thought in your head but young girls don’t always have a choice in whether or not they’re sexually active. How horrible would it be to get cervical cancer from something that was in no way your fault.

[DROP A TEAR 💧 @yooinkss]

Your impure soul k*lled him fatty

[JC @vernitosl]

Pope Francis held on that little bit longer just so we could all point and call JD Vance the Pope Killing Anti-Christ. Best Pope in my lifetime, RIP

[Slazac 🇪🇺🇺🇦🇹🇼🌐 @TrueSlazac]

I feel like if asbestos was banned today there'd be a huge pro-asbestos movement

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

Cannot stress enough she came in 5th

[Zack Voell @zackvoell]

the year is 2038 and you owe $50,000 of burrito debt to doordash but you can pay it all off by living in mr beasts minivan for 80 days

[nic carter @nic_carter]

I just want a car that is 0% computer

[Variety @Variety]

Bill Burr says "idiot" Elon Musk is "evidently a Nazi" with "dyed hair plugs and a laminated face."

"I just refuse to believe it was an accidental two-time Sieg Heil. And he does it at a presidential inauguration! This is why I hate liberals. Liberals have no teeth whatsoever. They just go, ‘Oh my God, can you believe this? I’m getting out of the country!’ I’m just like, you’re gonna leave the country because of one guy with dyed hair plugs and a laminated face? Who makes a bad car and has an obsolete social media platform? Why doesn’t he leave? Why are we so afraid of this guy who can’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag?”

Read more here: https://t.co/ibp8OifhjJ

[jovan @ehjovan]

if elon is on ozempic whys he so fucking fat

[Kat ♱ @albertcamslut]

Whenever a man tells me not to cut my hair he’s a misogynist and whenever a man encourages me to cut my hair he’s plotting on my downfall. I’m surrounded by Judases and Brutuses. I must only look within. The path ahead will reveal itself to me through quiet reflection and prayer

[Isi Breen @isaiah_bb]

I’m not a nativist but when I see Elon doing stuff like this, in his dumb little fuckin hats, and sometimes a t-shirt or something, strung out, I’m like get this guy out of here, he’s not even an American

[smitty werbenjägermanjensen @_letterbxmb]

This Onion headline is killin me man

[Cloudy 🌥️ @oncIoud_e]

isn't "the president is trying to declare himself king" like, the whole reason americans are supposed to have guns

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

I could never trust a mycologist. Too much spore exposure. Oh, mushrooms are a "crucial part of various ecosystems" are they? Or is that the mold talking?