Cameron Marcucci

🫘

[woop @woop54]

“I ordered my hot sauce an hour ago” is one of the funniest lines in any movie

[nacho @nachoeveryday]

This shit is electric

[RedditCFB @RedditCFB]

Tweets from 1066, 1113, 1119, 1173, 1194, 1204, 1214, 1217, 1242, 1297, 1324, 1415, 1475, 1492, 1513, 1523, 1544, 1549, 1558, 1627, 1692, 1704, 1745, 1759, 1778, 1781, 1805, and 2026.

[jordan @wickskiller]

me on december 18th

[uke creature🇵🇸🚩 @UkeCreature]

when you slip a little in the shower and you know you died in your original reality but the quantum immortality kicked in so it's chill

[PointlessHub @HubPointless]

“Empires only last 250 years”

“Haha okay”

Tomorrow:

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

microdosing pto by dissociating at work

[𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 @KLobstar]

prepping the boys for all of us doing the #pourbeeronyourcrotchchallenge on Fourth of July whether they like it or not

[Harold R. Kuntz @HaroldRKuntz3]

Another one of those sentences you thought you'd never hear.

[Spike @spikesguides]

POV you're already doing 30 over the limit in the slow lane and the fast lane is empty

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

when a diner hands you a laminated menu and it’s soaking wet. that’s respect

[Boppa 🧟‍♂️ @ihatebbls]

Sittin courtside tonight

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

ICE agent shooting me in the head because my toothpaste is too big

[R.F. Kenmore @rfkenmore]

Solo ticket to Project Hail Mary

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

guy fieri: okay, little lady, walk me through how we’re grillin’ this cheese

me: two pieces of white bread, well-buttered. then the star of the show

guy fieri: we talkin’ gruyère? pepper jack? gouda?

me: kraft single

guy fieri: sleazy does it, sister

[mr. joshua @pants]

@SheaSerrano