( ｡•̀ᴗ-)~*♡ 🦋

~*♡♡ 💍 ♡♡*~

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

GOOD NEWS PATRIOTS! WITH WASHINGTON SHUT DOWN, I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM NOW THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. MY PLATFORM IS VERY SIMPLE: HEALTH CARE FOR ALL AMERICANS (NO MEASLES!), FREE SCHOOL MEALS (WOW PUDDING FOR EVERYONE), FREE CHILDCARE (THE MOMS LOVE ME! MORE BABIES!!) GOOD-PAYING JOBS, AND NO MORE EVIL TARIFFS!!! EGGS WILL BE FREE. HAIR GEL SUBSIDIES WILL BE AVAILABLE (BUT ONLY FOR HANDSOME DEMOCRATS) AND WE WILL ALSO LEGALIZE CANNABIS! CRIME WILL STAY LOW AND EVERYONE WILL BE HIGH ON PATRIOTISM. AND NO MORE TICKETMASTER FEES (FOR THE SWIFTIES, FEES STAY FOR KID ROCK!) THEY WILL CHANT USA! USA! BECAUSE WE WILL BE BACK AND “HOTTER” THAN EVER BEFORE. THANK YOU! — GCN

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

TRUMP “MARIE ANTOINETTE” SAYS, “NO HEALTH CARE FOR YOU PEASANTS, BUT A BALLROOM FOR THE QUEEN!”

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Facts are facts!

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Reminder, 20% of all investment from the IRA and CHIPS Act went to Texas … yet, not on the list.

We’re sure it was just an oversight and not politically motivated retribution.

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Crooked
Lunatic
Obsessed
With
Nonsense

[Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) @AwesomeNewsom]

NEW RULE: NO BALLS, NO BALLROOM.

[Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) @AwesomeNewsom]

HEY DUMBURGER. IF YOU FINISHED 1ST GRADE OR SPOKE MATH LIKE BRAINY GAVIN C. NEWSOM (“C” IS FOR CALCULUS) YOU’D KNOW YOU CAN'T LOWER BY 1600%. MAX IS 100%. LIKE YOUR CANKLES GREW BY 100%. YOUR APPROVAL DROPPED BY 100%. GOVT SHUT DOWN IS 100% THE FAULT OF JULIUS GEEZER. (YOU! SAD.)

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Reminder, this is paid for by Californians!

Texas: a taker state (roughly $70 billion more than what they GIVE to the federal government)

California: a giver state (roughly $80 billion more than we RECEIVE from the federal government)

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

ALMOST A WEEK IN AND THEY STILL DON'T GET IT

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

thoughts and prayers

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Forget the southern border, the strongest wall Trump’s ever built is his bronzer line.

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

DANA "DING DONG" PERINO (NEVER HEARD OF HER UNTIL TODAY!) IS MELTING DOWN BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM! FOX HATES THAT I AM AMERICA’S MOST FAVORITE GOVERNOR ("RATINGS KING") SAVING AMERICA — WHILE TRUMP CAN’T EVEN CONQUER THE “BIG” STAIRS ON AIR FORCE ONE ANYMORE!!! TRUMP HAS “LOST HIS STEP” AND FOX IS LOSING IT BECAUSE WHEN I TYPE, AMERICA NOW WINS!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. — GCN

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

I HATE KID ROCK !!! — GCN

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Hey Pam Bondi — California’s Rules of Professional Conduct generally prohibit lawyers from bringing a claim or a position in litigation without probable cause and for the purpose of harassing or injuring a person.

May want to read this

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

HAS ANYONE NOTICED THAT SINCE I SAID “I HATE KID ROCK” HE'S NO LONGER 'HOT?' — GCN

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

LONG LIVE THE FREE STATE OF CALIFORNIA!

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

Israel has a right to defend itself against Hamas. But innocent Palestinians also have a right to life and security. I’m calling for a humanitarian pause by all parties so that critical aid can be delivered to the suffering people of Gaza and for the immediate release of all hostages.

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Boy math is needing 15 attempts to count the votes correctly to become Speaker and then shutting down the government 9 months later