Marie

Particularly gifted snacker. Terrible parallel parker.

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

Is... is Trump wearing highlighter???

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

Protip: it is not a good idea to put ice power on the backs of your legs before going out. You will spend the evening thinking you’ve sat in some liquid/peed yourself 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

Filled the office candy bowl for the first time.
Best or worst idea ever? Unconfirmed. Will update.

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

My boyfriend: Would you refer to yourself as a hollaback girl? Asking for a friend

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

Betsy DeVos, if you had not given $200 million to the Republican Party do you think you would be nominated to lead the Education Department?

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

@ChrisWeidmanUFC we tried to send a snapchat. We love you and Frankie. Go get it boys! #longislandstrongisland

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

@MattSerraUFC what's yours or chris' snapchat we want to send you some love! #champ

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

America, you didn't have to let Trump win to prove the voting system wasn't rigged. We already believed you. So maybe just... take it back?

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

2 things in life you'll always regret: deciding to get bangs again & not adding guac
#YOLO #noragrets

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

My boyfriend: "If I could describe American men's fashion in two words it would be 'regular fit'."
Truer words were never spoken

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

I guess I'm back on the twitter again. Ugh.

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

#ThatAwkwardMoment when you realize you have yogurt on your shoulder #oops #aupairlife

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

So excited for @thewombats concert tonight!!!

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

I swear I spend 75% of my life in pajamas. And I'm totally ok with that.

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

@SquidneyNilles this is for you

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

I suppose I should tweet something witty since it's been a while. But I'm not going to #oops

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

And now for my quarter-yearly tweet #oops #sorrynotsorry

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

The homemade poops are really good #familyquotes #lovethem (homemade peeps= poops)

[Marie @MarieMarieba]

I'm playing solitaire because I can't go to bed yet... it's not even 10. That's embarrassing. -Kelly Jo, ladies and gents. #wildtimes